I agree with Dona, about the sex ed....Lydia, somewhere here I have a great book for kids, on that subject...not STD's but sex...I'll see if I can dig it out...

I have been quiet because I am just having SO MUCH FUN, experiencing my second childhood...along with a very excellent Naked Raku workshop here this past weekend. Pictures coming...have been consulting with our honorable Ms B about computer fixup and it's going well. Karaoke'd last night, did an Alanis song and WHAT a response...bigtime ego boost... :-) Still kinda flying off that one...I want to find a band!!!!!

Site of the day - Free software and games

Games New Releases - Reviews and free downloads at Download.com
I have used download.com for almost a decade and have never been dissapointed or gotten a virus from their files. You will need to watch for system requirements if you are playing on an older machine but otherwise there are lots of things to play and use on your computer. Various catagories from business software to games. Lots of trialware so you can determine if it is worth the money to buy. Great free simple games for kids. There are ways around most trialware so some of the games at least you can paly for ever without paying. However make sure the games are full version if you want to try this. Otherwise enjoy the demos and then go buy the good ones.

Lets start with food - White Trash Gourmet Chicken

Love this meal, current favorite at both my house and my daughters. Little effort but great food

Ingredients: Chicken- I prefer Boneless white meat chicken tenders, (mainly because no one else but me in the family will eat any meat with bones)(yes they are really spoiled) but wings and other cheaper versions of chicken can be used. - Schlotsky's Sauce purchased from Schlotsky's Sandwich Sauce (spelling may be wrong) Other Cayenne Pepper sauces may also be used. Honey, Butter - Use real butter anything else just makes it cheaper and it will not be as good. Frozen French Fries - I use the large cut steak fries but whatever you choose will be fine. And last but not least Cheese - lots and lots of cheese. I use a colby-jack mix but any will do.

Instrux - Melt butter in pan big enough to hold how ever much chicken you are cooking. I use 1/2 a stick for a small batch - a full stick for larger batches. Needs to have lots of butter you want it to be saucy. Brown chicken in butter until it is nice and golden and cooked. (I use the giant bags of frozen tenders , I prefer the chicken to be almost shredded but I am too lazy to cut it up and I throw them in frozen then after they have browned and cooked I beat them to death with the edge of a spatula cutting them into little pieces. ) If using wings or other chicken with bones omit the beating to death part.

Once chicken is started, cook your french fries so that they will actually be done at the same time chicken is. Follow directions on bag. I bake the fries as my an attempt to offset the butter. You only need one good fat source in a meal and butter tastes better than oil.

Once chicken is cooked pour Pepper sauce over the top (lots of sauce, straight from the bottle, again you want it drippy.) Next squirt honey into the pan and mix it all together. The wimpier your family is the moe honey you will want to use to offset the spice. I use very little but then I am a a fire breathing dragon.

When the french fries are cooked arrange nicely (I prefer a mounded star pattern with the ends sticking out from under the chicken) on plate cover with a generous portion of the shredded chicken, smother in cheese. Pop in the microwave for a few seconds to melt it all together and serve plate by plate.

Meal takes maybe 20 minutes to cook and tastes great

I prefer to eat the mess with my fingers and adding some sort of dipping sauce. Both ranch and blue cheese dipping sauces work well and can be purchased at the store or begged from the local wing shop if you know one that has a sauce you like. I always get extra sauces when I eat somewhere for future use in my own cooking.

My favorite additions to this mix are portabello mushrooms and onions but it depends on who is eating it and what I have in the house.

Try not to clutter it with veggies, that makes it way to healthy and it doesn't taste near as good. As long as you bake the fries the butter is the only really bad thing in it. Cheese doesn't count as cheese is one of those foods of the gods and should be used liberally, just ask atkins(Its a protein man, really). Sauce is basically non-fat until you start dipping

Its going to be a multiple Blog Day

If I am lucky that is. Need to answer Lydia and robert and get another chapter of Jordon up and Get some recipes up and and and Okay so maybe I won't get it all done but I will try

Hello Silence, My Old Friend...

Okay...it's time to breath. The 8 month old, the 4 year old, the 29 year old, AND the 47 year old are now all tucked in and happily on their ways to never-never land for the night. My house is upside down, the dishes are screaming to be washed, I'm exhausted, and all I want to do is listen to the wind rattle the old storm windows and the hum of the hot water heater as it fills for the one thousandth time today. For those of you who don't know, my daughter Janelle (the 29 year old), her 4 year old son Cj, and her 8 month old daughter Jaden McKenzie, are her for a 4 (or 5, or 6, or 7, or....) day visit. How can you love someone so much and miss them until your heart feels as if it will break in two and after they are here 24 hours think, "Aren't you ready to leave yet??????"
Lydia - for what it is worth - NO age is too young, in my opinion! But, I have no doubt the Wise And Sage B will definitely put in her 2 cents worth. (Just between you and I, I happen to think her 2 cents is priceless, but don't tell her, as it will only go to her head.)
I'm glad to hear the visit went well (any situation that creates a positive energy in any form should be considered a GOOD thing!) and obviously the surgery was a success. Ah...one of the hardest life lessons of all - parents are just people who had kids. Imagine that! I sometimes feel bad that I didn't realize this until my mother died. She has been gone a long time and sometimes I wish I had told her it was okay to just be a person for a while. I'm sure where she is now she knows that, along with lots of other things I should have/could have/would have said. Most of all, now that I am a "Nana," I wish I could share all this joy, frustration, exhilaration, exasperation, with her.
Lydia, I know you probably mentioned this before, but what part of Kansas? (Forgive the tired old brain cell - it is Brandy's turn to use it and I am at a loss to remember more than my first name tonight!) I'd love to meet you and have a cup of Java while you are in the Sunflower state.
I have much more to ramble about, but I'm just too damned tired to type! We are up at the crack of dawn tomorrow for another day filled with adventures of the 4 year old kind. (Which are much better than the grown-up kind!!)

Love and sex education for a 7 year old girl

The visit is officially over as of 7 something in the am when I watched him walk through the metal detector. I had just helped him to unclasp his gold bracelet a moment earlier and a vague memory came back to me of him once clasping a gold bracelet around my small wrist. I had stolen a long glance at his hands and I marveled at how similar they were to my own. So there he went and I wonder when it is that I might see him again. I think that I know him a little better now than I did before. Mostly I learned that there was not that much that I didn't know. He's no enigma. Just a person afraid to love or be really close to another human being. Perhaps it was best that he stayed away. I am so thankful that I am capable of love. I am open and honest if anything. Try to be at least, some times I may fall short but no one is perfect. I love him as he is. We had a fun visit, he was quite taken with Kelly II. They enjoyed one another's company, I liked watching the two of them hold hands. I will visit Kansas with the entire clan this summer. My nephew has captured my heart, we are going to be great friends. I am excited about this. On a totally unrelated subject I'm considering starting Lindy's STD\Contraceptive education (is 7 too young?) She knows the facts of life. Where babies come from, how they get there, menstrual cycle and such. She thinks that sex is pretty hilarious. She actually asked me why anyone would do that.

New 7 Wonders - Vote for choice of the new 7 wonders of the world

New 7 Wonders - Vote Great idea since the old list is over 2000 years old. Real deal here so give the world your opinion or just go and look at the pretty pictures.

Jordon and his Adventures with G.O.D.

Jordon and his Adventures with G.O.D.: "Chapter 2 is now postd to keep the pages straight I am just adding to the first blog so scroll down if you have already read chapter 1"

Its beginning to feel lonely out here again

Reason to provide our children w/ graphically honest and unflinching sex education

STD Report

Thought I would break this down for people who don't have time to go read the article. I sincerely believe in completely honest sex ed for our children. Abstinence does play a part in this talk but being not a very particle solution so does birth control. Pregnancy is no longer the worst thing that can happen to our children or to us. The Aids epidemic started around the time my son was born and I swore I would never let my children die for sex just because I didn't want to talk about it.

Scary statistics. If you read the article attached to this you probably went yah its bad so???? Let me break down just how bad it really is.

15 Million cases of STDs every year, Big number but personally meaningless. So lets break it down, This is 41,095 per day and those are the ones that are actually diagnosed. Or 1712 per hour or 28 every single second of the day.

40 to 50 million people in this country have herpes but only 20-30% know they have it. The rest are unknowingly spreading it.

3 Mill have Chlamydia which has few symptoms and is one of the leading reasons of sterility in this country today for both men and women. In case you are wondering that is about 8219 cases a day to maintain that record. Pelvic inflammatory disease caused by Chlamydia causes 100,000 cases of sterility in woman each year. That is about 274 girls every day who will never give birth to their own children.

We have to get over our phobias about sex in this country. We have to teach our children about sex and we have to make wearing a condom one of the coolest things a boy can do. Pass them out in lunchrooms starting in Kindergarten for all I care. Talk about the diseases daily. Our children should not suffer for or prudishness or our religion. Abstinence is great but not terribly feasible from a biological standpoint. a greater percentage of people may not have had sex before they were married a 100 years ago but they were married at 14 and it annoys the hell out of me when the modern day do gooders don't take the reality of history into account but that is a whole other rant.

Chlamydia which is so dangerous because of it utter lack of symptoms can still be cured with a single 4 pill dose of antibiotics. Studies show that the children are picking it up in high school and then taking it to college with them to spread it among the masses. We need a programs at both highschool and college levels that offer massive free distribution of the cure and free testing to both highschool children and the at the colleges.

A parent in this day and age who truly cared about their children's health would make sure their children were tested annually, rather than bury their heads in the sand and ignore the problem and then whine about abortion when their little Susie can no longer conceive. Get a grip take responsibility, its only sex for God's sake and believe me if God didn't think it was a good thing he wouldn't have made it so much fun.

Who Is That Masked Man?

Who is this enlightened soul? Surely he was a woman ini a past life?

Another Letter from A Male Friend

As a outsider, not really knowing any of you, I find the stimulation very intriguing. Having lived in scenic southern Utah ( spelt ewetah for us here locals) or behind the "ZION" curtain for us gentiles, I have lacked the necessary "input" to stimulate my intellect. To read all your stories from the "heart" hit me exactly there, right in the heart. The talk of "soul mates", the don't care about what you can't change philosophy, all right on the money truthful & just sound advice !! Some stuff could even be appreciated by "me", a MAN !! But, "I'm" NOT your typical man or american . This has been known to "me" since I was a child. "I" knew that my path in life would be hard and lonely. A man filled with anger toward the world, a world "He" could NOT change. A world that Didn't Care, about itself or "one" another. Thank god (for lack of a better word, since I'm an atheist) that spiritual growth does exist !! I have come a long way in these last few months, about what is dear & important to/for "me". And that's just plain old life. It's such a thrill to just "ENJOY"each day. To be "thankful" for our friends and the one's that surround us with "Love". For "me", a MAN, to feel soo much compassion toward "Nature" and "Life" - to know that my dog, Sister Cera Sue, my beautiful Siberian Husky, that's "smarter than most men", LOVES me unconditionally, and is my joy, i feel blessed @ times . And Brandy, do you believe in the "Power of the Planets"? Cuz there's been some VERY powerful things happening in my life since the alignment !! "I'm" starting to believe in "something"!! I wouldn't exactly call it "fate", but when one applies themselves to "directing" their life, HOW fast the picture can CHANGE !! WOW, life can be soo intense and excilerating(spelling!?) . I guess the "KEY",
the key, is all in the "perspective". From day one, "my" perspective has ALWAYS collided with your typical - I "HATE" typical, thus mediocrity !! Thus "capitalism", or ANY other controlling/manipulative person, organization, values or morals. Just because it may be a MAJORITY, that does make them "Right", right ? Well, what's a man to do ? Being an angry young man does NOT work. I think John Lennon said it best, "LOVE", and I believe him. For "our" species, we are the ONLY ones that can take it to it's truly "profound" levels. Yes, other species understand loss. I'll never forget the scream of my siamese cat when she found her dead buddy Samson, Delilah screamed an eerie cry and took off into the woods for most of the day. She moaped for days over her loss, as did I . When I lost my 151/2 yr. old australian shepherd in March of 2002, he died in my arms, he took his last breathes. I never experienced SUCH great loss. Sure, I lost my grandparents to old age, but never loss like this - THIS was different !!! I had Nemo San since
he was 8 wks. old and he went everywhere with me. He was my BEST friend and sidekick. He now has a monument that is quite large marking his grave. A "special" place with a special view. One can see the summit of Brian Head, Little Creek Peak, the Tushar mts., Little Salt Lake, and petroglyphs across the wash.

I am happy that Mishy is having fun even if she isn't naked and I'm glad that she wasn't sucked into a big pile of clay. Even though I think that she might actually enjoy that. Well operation hysterical whiny female failed miserably. Little brother actually assisted Dad as his nurse while he performed surgery on himself. (Not amputation) Apparently being a Ranger qualifies Dad to operate on himself. This has been quite a weekend of revelations and biting my tongue. I wonder why I am always showing such restraint? Perhaps I am trying not to alienate people. Dad's thumb looks somewhat better, it may actually be healing. More later.

Naked Raku with Wally

Here is some of Wally's work

I am here, you will never lose me!

Did I share that I decided I am already that weird pottery lady at the end of the street? I ought to fit right in with the witches in the woods eventually...where have I been? I have been having the most WONDERFUL week! Cleaned all week long for this workshop here this weekend...NAKED RAKU...and what a wonderful workshop it has been! (Today too)...the Flemish artist is Wally Asselberghs, I will post his site next... Naked Raku is the pottery, not the people, but very fun anyway! Wally is staying with me (no-kid weekend, worked out well)...and he is laid back and charming... People came in from Massachusetts, Maryland, Minnesota, Texas and around Arizona. And, to top it off...I met these people last week, at karaoke, who encouraged me to come see this group (duo, with lots of electronic help), who does a lot of Santana and invites guests up a lot....so I went Friday and sang with them, and then again last night...sang Michelle Branch Game of Love and got such a WONDERFUL response...WOW! Bigtime fun and ego boost for Mishy.

There once was a dragon named Brandy.
She kept all the knights around, handy.
She'd huff and she'd puff and blow lots of smoke.
She'd try to make flames, but that was a joke.
Then one day the Faerie, she dropped by the cave.
She said, "I'm not scared - I'm extremely brave."
"Get out of my home!" shouted green scaly Brandy,
"Or I'll melt you dumb fairy - like sunbaked candy!"
Said Faerie, so full of herself and her magic and stuff,
"You can't make flame. All you can make is black billowy fluff."
So Brandy did snort and sniff and strut.
She hunched up her back and stuck out her butt.
She inhaled and exhaled and drew a deep breath.
She swelled up all purple and looked quite near death.
The knights all shook and wrung their big hands.
The Faerie, she laughed and danced, as if to a band.
Than Brandy let loose with a great big loud sigh.
The Faerie was gone, just a small pile of ashes . . . without a goodbye.

Help! We've Lost Our Mishy!

Has she fallen in a kiln and can't get up? Has her spinning potter's wheel mesmerized her and she's in a deep trance that only a kiss from a prince (or a well-endowed frog) can revive her from? Has she been sucked into a circling mound of clay and even now is desperately seeking extraction? Or ... could it possibly be she's got a life and much more interesting things to do than blog??? No - I vote for the sucking mound of clay.

The Calvary Is On It's Way!!!

Lydia - I am compiling the elite Ranger division (no pun intended on the name) of the Women's Special Forces. Should you feel you may be taken captive or the enemy has discerned your plan of action, please send an encrypted message. We will parachute in and extract you, or provide additional back up, whichever the situation may warrant.

Further Ammunition - Good Luck

Lydia you might reming your brother that what is probably happening to your father is that Gangrene is setting in. This is a major concern among those with Diabetes. If not taken care of he has a great chance of losing far more than just his thumb. Not something you mess around with. Even if your fathers is not yet that severe gangrene is something a soldier should understand. Better to be hysterical and wrong than not be and have something worse happen

Operation Jack Thumb

Typing with one hand, holding the Ranger man while my nephew Paul IV and the rest of the brood scream in the background. I hope that my bro helps me carry out the plan inspired by if not dictated by El General B. Perhaps if presented in military tactics SSGT Alfaro may lead the mission. His thwarted sense of machismo manhood loyalty may be a hindrance. More later as my position has been compromised.

Glad you are having a nice visit

April only agreed to the pic because her baby book required one. Mommy wanting one wasn't good enough but I will take it however I can get it.

You are right about the problem with your dad. When the I don't care mode doesn't work it is time to turn on the "Super Mom & Crazy love hungry daughter" Mode. Leave the kids with the sister in law, Get Bro and dad into the car and drive to the doctor. Tell father you will not take him home until he sees the doctor. If needed cry and get hysterical and plead about how afraid you are that it may spread(which is a possibility) and how you are just now getting over your childhood and you need him to be around so that you can be a family because you really need a family etc.....

Okay so it is manipulative as hell and yes I have no shame and would do this in an instant, but then its not like you are lying and I am sure that like most women if you start going on and imagining worse case senarios you can cry and be hysterical on demand, he will go in just to shut you up and to get out of the public eye as you will be doing this in a public parking lot. Will make the man in him feel better because he is taking care of your fears which might make his go away or at least recede behind the wailing. Use the brother for back up and if you can get him crying and ranting all the better.

Don't know that this is the best advice but it is a fast way to take care of the problem and I am sure he will thank you in the end.


Other alternative is to have the grandkids gang up on him but this requires manipulating the children and him which while fun is more effort and your kids aren't really old enough to truly enjoy it yet.

Love you, Praying for you
B

He stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plumb

I am surprised that Brandy actually got such a priceless pose from April. I was under the impression that she was not willing to go bare belly for posterity. Very lovely shot of the little mommy. Well the first fifteen minutes or so with the family were awkward and I fully expected it to continue as this has often been the case in the past however..... Maybe it was watching the children play together that lightened the scene. My niece and nephew are enchanting. They are so beautiful, I wish that I could keep them here with me. The little girl Serena is 13 months old and can already speak in short sentences and she knocks me out. She is all smiles and she loves me! She does look a lot like me and that is strange because none of my own children do or at least I do not think so. It is weird seeing my grown up little brother, his voice is the same but his body is not. The same is true of myself being that I am a victim of gravity. My father looks the same as ever which is very well. Perhaps all that alcohol has preserved him because he never seems to age. He has not had a drink in six weeks so he may fall apart before my very eyes. There is a good reason for this (as if he never had any good reason to quit the booze). My father is a diabetic he has been for some time. He cut his thumb and was recently hospitalized. He had a doctor apt today but since he is out of state obviously he won't be making it. Here's the rub, his thumb looks like it's about to fall off. I am not exaggerating this one if anything I am understating it and I am seriously concerned. I cannot get him to go to the Dr. I do not know if he does not want to iinterrupt his vacation or if he's scared because he knows that he is going to lose it anyway. Yes, I realize that he is a grown man and that I cannot make anyone do anything and if he's too stupid to take care of himself yada yada yada blah blah blah. But in spite of anything and everything I love and care for this man and the I don't care philosophy just does not apply here. Thumbs are pretty essential, and it's his right thumb and he's right handed. He's a writer! I'm doing the prayer thing because I know that is my only hope. So please who ever reads this pray that this grown up 55 year old boy who provided me with 50% of my genetic material goes to the doctor. I don't know that his thumb can be saved but I certainly not like to see the situation get any worse. My friend David is an anesthesiologist and although this is not his forte I am going to try to get him to come over and take a look at it. Maybe I can get him to try to talk some sense into this hard headed Mexican man. On a lighter note my sister in law Erica said that she is surprised that Paul III and I are so normal being that we were raised by my mother. My mother visits her often and stays with her for a month at a time. To that I responded, " She didn't spend a lot of time with us, and I'm fully expecting to wake up wacky some day". I was kidding of course about but I often marvel how I managed to shuck her influence on my life. I always assumed that perhaps my brother was not able to completely do the same. I see pieces of her in him and I'm sure he sees bits of her in me. Genetics? Environment? Who knows. The one thing that I know to be true is that I am so blessed by God.

The first Chapter of Jordon is now up

For all you folks who want to read a down home red neck fairy tale. Remember Literature it ain't and if you has never lived in the midwest then some of them big terms might not mean much to you all. Iffen you need any explinations just ask and Dona and I will just jump right on it.

Any gramatical errors are the complete and udder fault of Miss Brandy, that be me. We thinks we found all the 240 word sentences but ya never know and Blogger was doing some might funny things when I was a copying it .

To get to this masterpiece just click on JOrdon under the word stories to your right

Yeah!

Thanks so much for the picture! She looks adorable and the belly is kissable. Tell her Missy Em will enjoying seeing it when she gets older.
Darrel is finally home for a day (the first in almost a month) and I am trying to get all my cleaning, etc. done before the Texas crew arrives Monday. Since I have to work all day tomorrow and babysit all day Saturday, I'm trying to get as much done as I can today. Not ever easy when there is a man under foot!

The Bare Belly Pic

Thank you Lydia!

Lydia - thanks for the best giggle I had today. It was such a "Dona" or "Brandy" thing to do that now I know I like you!!!

Picture This

Thank you for your words of encouragement, some times I do not feel like I am all that nice. Here is a little something that is sure to make you laugh. Picture this typical Lydia life event. Woke up this morning and hurriedly got myself and the two littlest ones ready for our day. Lindy and Blaze spent the night with their dad last night. I skipped the coffee as I am trying to break my addiction to caffeine. I headed out the door packed the kids in the car to pick up Julie (friend and free cleaning lady ectraordinaire). I was feeling pretty productive as I turned the ignition. Car did not start. Oops, no door handles either. The little Angels broke them off and Daddy has not fixed them yet and Mommy has no clue how to fix them. Climbed into the back seat to escape and discovered that those child locks in the back seat weren't so handy. Didn't see any neighbors I could embarrassingly scream for. Did however have my cell phone so I called the police, who did not even chuckle at the scenario. A few minutes later I was liberated and the officer of the law did not laugh at me and was genuinely concerned about my well being. I then disabled the kid locks. Hooked up the battery charger,brought the kids inside and brewed a pot of coffee.

Fathers and such

Tuesday night has, for some reason, turned into party night at the bar. I seem to be getting home later and later on Tuesday nights and I'm more and more tired on Wednesday a.m.s! The tips keep getting higher and higher, too, though, so I guess I"m not really complaining.
Lydia, at the risk of sounding like one of those "been there, done that" people, at every turn, I have to tell you another story. My parents divorced when I was 3. My older brother went to live with my dad, and I went with my mom, who immediately remarried. My stepdad was a drunk and there were many bumps (and some major hills) while I was growing up, but he was my "Dad" in all the ways that counted. I spent part of every summer with my bio dad, until I was about 13 or 14 and then I refused to go anymore. I don't have one single memory of sharing an event or even a moment with my real dad. He would come home from work, eat (the only times I remember even seeing him are at the dinner table), and then retire to his bedroom to watch sports and read the paper. Never in my life did he hug me or speak to me beyond "How are you?" and I never heard the words "I love you" from him until 2 years ago and I am almost 47 years old.
My mom died 18 years ago at the age of 46 and I took care of her the last year of her life. Although my brother told my real dad several times that I could really use a call from him while I was taking care of mom, working full time, and raising my daughter by myself, I never received even a single call. When she passed away I never got a call from my father, a card, or anything. To this day he has never even acknowledge her death. This hurt me so much and made me so angry that I didn't even speak to him for years. About 7 years ago Darrel convinced me I had to go see him on one of our trips back east. I really didn't want to go. Now I am so glad I did and as I mentioned in a previous blog, am planning to go see him again this year. We are still not close, and don't talk a lot, but we do speak on the phone several times a year. In coversations he has even mentioned his "two kids" and is referring to my brother and the younger half sister I have by his second marriage. I guess I'm not even one of his kids. But, I've come to realize that like the rest of us, our parents grew up dysfunctional in some way and they too are who they are. Like you guys, I try not to judge and I realized I was judging him and doing it with little or no information on why he is the way he is. He and I will never be close in any parent/child way, but accepting him for who he is has helped heal a hole in my heart I never even realized was there until Darrel made me go see him.
Besides, as B said - how can they NOT like you??? I don't even know you and I like you! Keep thinking of it as a grand adventure and you'll have more fun than you ever expected. It's a shame Kelly won't be there to share it with you, but you'll have lots to tell him when he gets home.

Be yourself

Worrying is not allowed in the I don't care doctrine. You are a grown woman with four kids and a life of your own. If you guys can't stand eachother it just means they will leave sooner and your house will still be clean. Since I can't possibly imagine someone not liking you, I doubt you have much to worry about. Have fun and don't care. I know how hard it is dealing with the past and with parents who have no clue who you really are. But the truth is you have no clue who they really are either. Our childhood versions of our parents are in no way connected to the true people they are inside. So breathe deep and have a great time. If you need extra moral support or someone to scare them off just yell and I can come over and be whoever you want me to. (One of the advantages of mulitple personalities.) You are one of the nicest people I have ever met, they will love you just like everybody else does.

Family Adventures

Interesting developments are brewing on the Lydia front. My Dad (biological) called to say that he, my brother Paul and bro's family are driving here from Kansas to see me. Paul is stationed in Kansas, and my father is visiting them from California. They will be here tomorrow. I'm feeling anxious and nervous. I have not seen my brother in nearly 10 years. He was just a skinny little boy when I last saw him in person and now he is a man with a family! Two little ones, a 3 year old Paul JR and a 1 year old girl Serena that I'm told looks exactly like me. My father and I have no relationship to speak of, I barely know him. With the exception of the occasional camping or road trip we did not spend any considerable time together. He was too busy drinking with his war brothers to raise a daughter. He was never really in the picture even when he was. Up until recently I have always had this great desire to really know him. It was only this year that I truly gave up hope of this and accepted him for who and what he was and resolved to not care. Now isn't that how life always is. He is going to spend a week here. I wonder what events will transpire? I look like my father, with my dark features and high cheek bones, brown hair and eyes. It is strange to think that how just 30 years ago interracial relationships were not as prevalent and now they are a common occurrence. Kelly will not be here for my morale. Kelly is slightly annoyed\disappointed that he will be missing this. The original plan was for Dad to visit late May when Kelly would be here. Then there is the small matter of my disgusting abode. I'll be in a cleaning frenzy just as soon as I end this blog.This family visit might just be the adventure that I was seeking. I feel tense. I am breathing and I'm am inhaling only positive energy. I am letting go of everything negative. I am letting go of resentment and hurt. God I am asking you to help me to not be afraid to allow my Dad to see who his daughter is.

Da Baby Shower Picture

The baby shower was great, I am very grateful to both Lydia and Melisa who came as they were the only people from Aprils side of the world. Didn't get to visit as much as I would have liked but thank you very much for coming.

Lydia proved herself an Angel by going above and beyond the call of Duty. Not only did she plan games, she bought prizes and taught me how to make koolaid punch. (Yes I know I do not live in the real world where everybody knows how to do this shit)

April and Michael received lots of goodies, Most everything they needed. The crib should be here beginning of next week and then she just has to buy a stroller so I think the material part is taken care of now all the need is the ability to turn off loud screaming noises and the strength to rationalize with toddlers.

In a true Michelle moment, ( She really is a younger version of you Mishy) When doing final cleanup from a name this baby food game I asked Lydia if she wanted the baby food for ranger or she just wanted me to throw it away since it was opened. She said toss it, But, in a moment of environmental anguish decided they cold go home and be recycled. The only thing that would make this a truer mishy moment is if you composted the food when you got home. I am lazy and the older I get the lazier I get. I think all the people in the world who recycle should be given cash award and maybe their own honorific. I used to be fairly good, (came from living so close to michelle) but lately I have grown lax. I still reuse things and my love for cloth napkins will never die but I haven't recycled a thing since we moved into the new house. The old house had recycle bins so I could at least do newspaper and such, New house just has a giant dumpster so everything goes in the trash. I did quit getting newspapers delivered to the house and only read online versions now, does that count??

I have more pics if anybody want to see them I will set up a link to thumbs page later, Want to do something creative with them but haven't had the time to play yet. Officially caught up at work maybe I will get time today but then we have another doctors appt for April so maybe not.

Old Memories

Tried to Blog last night but Lydia was messenging and Les was talking and since doing more than two things at once is beyond me, here is an excerpt of the messenger conversation. Most of you know this already but I still felt it had a place for other women or teen that might be reading the blog


dragonez: She pissed me off when I was 12 and changed my
whole life

Lydia Nolen: What did she do?

dragonez: For starters my family has always been disfunctional.
MY mothers idea of making up was to give me the Saks card. Which has its advantages
but is not particularly good for long term relationships

dragonez: I became pregnant for the 1st time at 12

Lydia Nolen: Purposely

dragonez: Our preacher found out when I was 6 months pregnant
and forced me to tell my mother against my better judgment. Last time I ever
went to church also.

dragonez: No I looked at him wrong. We get pregnant very easily

Lydia Nolen: I don't think at twelve I had even gotten my period

dragonez: Used to think my mother was lying about getting
pregnant the 1st time she had sex but I don't doubt it near as much now

dragonez: As she always said I was born 35

Lydia Nolen: I got pregnant the first time Kelly and I had sex

dragonez: By the time I hit public school in 5th grade I
was testing at college level I was to smart and too bored and left alone way too
much

Lydia Nolen: I wasn't cursed with genius

dragonez: anyway I told her she contacted a doctor willing
to do an illegal abortion. Dragged me to said doctor who performed an saline abortion
where they stick that long ass needle through your belly and poison the baby with
salt water

dragonez: Wouldn't nearly call everything that happened genius

dragonez: 12 Hours later we drove to a condemned hospital where I delivered a
perfect but very dead little boy.

Lydia Nolen: Did you hate her (your mother?)

dragonez: I cried and screamed the whole time and her general
response was shut up you deserve this

dragonez: For years

Lydia Nolen: And you've forgiven her?

dragonez: The nurse was kind enough to tell me that the
baby would have been perfect if I hadn't killed him

dragonez: Have no choice.

dragonez: I make my own peace with God I can't make anybody else's

dragonez: This event pretty much changed my whole life.

Lydia Nolen: understandably so

Lydia Nolen: I do not think that I would have the strength to recover from that
one

dragonez: The boy knew and was willing to marry me, Diamond
ring and everything, His parents were willing to let me move in and help take
care of the child

dragonez: When she took me to the doctors she gave me a choice

Lydia Nolen: How old was he?

dragonez: Have the procedure done or walk away from every thing in my life and
never see her again

dragonez: 15

Lydia Nolen: What a choice

dragonez: I would have graduated Highschool at 16 I was
in 8th grade at the time

dragonez: I am not sure at time which broke me more knowing that I killed the
child or that I did it to remain in the materialistic life I was living

Lydia Nolen: I don't think that's why you did it

dragonez: His name would have been Brandon Michael,

Lydia Nolen: I don't think I could have left my mommy at 12

Lydia Nolen: Horrid as I thought she was

dragonez: I am honest with my self it has been too many
years not to be and that was certainly a factor, As was giving up my mother, but
the deal they made was if I went through with it the would not interrupt the relationship
between me and John

dragonez: I made my deal with the devil and everybody kept their promises, The
only thing JOhn ever said to me was couldn't we at least have buries it.

dragonez: He is by the way Joshua's father also

dragonez: BY 15 I walked away from her for the last time but the preceding three
years was its own little nightmare

dragonez: Probably where I learned the art of Self delusion. To get through day
by day who have to convince yourself that you are okay that nothing happened that
you can always be happy

dragonez: Made me very prolife for a while

Lydia Nolen: You did not have a real choice

dragonez: Changed my name at 13 to Brandy in the child's
honor but it was probably 20 years before I admitted that to myself

Lydia Nolen: I am pro-life personally but I do not judge others

dragonez: I am pro-choice but Personally I believe it is
murder

Lydia Nolen: God gives us all free will

dragonez: I also do not believe in Judging people. I figure
until god comes down and go hey you , you're in charge now you decide everyone's
guilt, that my only job is to help those I can and torment those I want

Victim Of Gravity

I had a very nice day today, I enjoyed helping with April's shower. Though I can't say that I did much. April looked especially lovely and seemed to be very much in love. I like watching public displays of affection, I am quite a romantic at heart. Lindy enjoyed herself a great deal. I am glad that I brought her with me. Sometimes I forget that she is only seven as she is just a couple of inches shy of five feet tall. I am not always as patient with her as I should be. Poor Lindy she is my oldest and often the victim of my trial and error parenting technique. Successfully installed and logged on to yahoo messenger as Catsrule1974. Well it's now about 10:20 PM and I've decide to edit my blog. I stripped off my clothes hopped on to our water bed and pressed my naked body against Kelly. He rejected my advances so I have decided to eat cheesecake drink diet vanilla coke and write. Not quite as good as love making but it will have to do. It's funny because just the other day I was thinking that with my awesome feminine powers I could probably seduce Kelly at any time the mood struck me. I don't know that I would do well as a nudist, I am too self conscious and would probably stare too much. Though I am perfectly comfortable walking around the house with little or no clothing. By the way Dona coordination is not a required skill for top less dancing as I myself have very little and was quite successful. I enjoy writing about that chapter in my life, although it was hardly a chapter more like a page and I suppose by the time it is all said and done it will be only a mere paragraph in the book that is my life. I am thankful for it though because in the end I learned a bit about myself. I would like to think that I know myself but it seems as though with the passing of time I come to see even more facets of me. I'm some times a bit self centered, I think that we all are. I haven't met any Mother Theresas or Christs lately. I am glad that I became a mother so young. I believe that having Lindy at 21 accelerated my maturation process. Then again who knows I've always been a bit old for my age. I have an old soul, but am young at heart and am perfectly capable of being immature.

I was a good girl...

I survived a night at the bar as a patron for a change and had the time of my life. It was a downer because Darrel wasn't there, but the local yokels were in rare form and provided lots of free entertainment. I was designated babysitter for Derek, so I had some supper when we first got there, and I had a few beers, but afterward I drank coffee and watched the side show until almost 3 this a.m. Derek got totally durnk, of course, (so drunk he actually danced with his old stepmom twice and he doesn't dance!) but the real entertainment was provided by 2 tables of exceptionally rambunctious freaks. I know all these people, but one group had brought a new face - someone's cousin who was visiting from Texas, so she felt free to be bad and not get in trouble. I told Carol early on that this woman would have her clothes off by the end of the night and she did not disappoint a bit.
I sure wish I could be at the shower today!! Instead I will be sorting through my piles of junk I got at the auction yesterday and trying to work up the ambition to make eBay ads.
Lydia - for a trip a year I would have agreed to about anything! Darrel never traveled until I met him and since Derek left home we have gone on a trip a year and try to go a different direction every year. (The year we went to the "clothing optional," adults only, 4 day camp out was one of the best, but that's a whole different blog!) This year we are going back east, which is breaking our rule of a different place every year as we did Cape Cod, Virginia Beach, etc. one year already), but I feel the need to visit my dad and stepmom in Pennsylvania again. Dad is now 70 (I did not grow up with him and we have never been close) and I just feel like I need to see him just in case.... We are also going to side trip to Washington D.C., as last time we were there we rushed through and Darrel wants to go back and spend some time really seeing things.
I want to take an adventure to Mishy's! (Nothing like inviting yourself, huh...??) I want her to teach me how to play in the mud and make beautiful things appear! I have a porcelain pitcher and glasses set Mish made, which sits in a place of honor in my glass front corner cabinet in the living room, for all to see. It sits right above the fossilized fairy bowl Brandy made me. Mishy, you now have to spend time throwing together a vacation package to sell me!
It is extremely cloudy here so I am going to go outside and do a rain dance. If it rains, Darrel gets to come home!!! Poor guy woke at 3:00 this a.m., and since the bar closes at 2:00 and we weren't home, he got up and called the bar (we had already left) to check on us and then sat up and waited for us. (He's such a mother hen - guess he gets it from raising his kids by himself for the most part.) Of course, we sat up and I had to fill him in on all the gossip from the bar, then we went to bed and had great sex, and then it was time for him to go to work!
Lydia - it seems Angel was an appropriate name for you, as you appear to have the patience of a saint! My other sister, who lives in Florida, was a dancer for years, but I don't think I ever knew what her stage name was. If I was a dancer I think my name would have been "Uncoordinated Bubble Butt Woman." Now it would be "Woman Who Gravity Has Taken Its Toll On."

Lydia this is for you

Yahoo! Messenger

Go to this page and click start download, save the file to the desk top and then click on it and install so we can chat outside the blog and not on the phone. PLEEEEEEESE

Bring da Pitchers

Lydia if you get this please bring whatever plastic pitchers you have and I will bring some also.
Blog if you receive and BTW we really gotta get you on messenger

Bring da Pitchers

The more money the better

Lydia- feel free to get loans from anyone you can its not like there my family.
Hey and at 100.00 a hit ill let you bug any one. lol

Oh Baby!

I welcome all comments and wild mad rants. I enjoy reading them as well as learning from the experiences of others. I would have been very pleasantly surprised if you would have shown up at the carnival Brandy. Kelly was awsome he volunteered non stop. The youngins ran around and had a blast. The power of prayer and do not care. I am bringing my Lindy with me to the baby shower tomorrow. She has never been to one and is very excited. I am looking forward to seeing April's big belly.

Some Computer Stuff, Some Fun Stuff, Check out the Loft Cube

Doug Ross @ Journal

Angel

Carnival was mucho fun. Yes will definately enjoy doing the corny games. Corny is my territory. I'm much more comfortable around strangers when I have a definite assignment or when I'm trying to sell them something. April will get 100 dollars per loan that comes from her shower. Just kidding I won't be passing out any business cards. I'll wait until the next family function that I'm invited to for that. Don't worry about the game stuff Brandy I have it under control. I'll try to call you and let you know that. In case you don't read this blog in time. In my own defense Brandy the only reason I skipped the NY thing was because Kelly promised me a trip a year not to go. So as soon as Ranger is weaned I will be planning some adventure. So far I am definately going on a mission trip to Mexico without kids or Kelly next year. Yes my illness was partly do to being run down however it was also partially my own fault as well. I got the opportunity to go to South Padre Island last year expenses paid to learn about social programs for Headstart. Well I spent the days soaking up all the info and the nights drinking, dancing, swimming in the ocean and sitting in the hot tub till a couple of hours before my first seminar. I came home to my family in pretty rough shape. So I'm not such an angel and may have a really good drunk story if I could actually remember it. Not that I regret a moment of it but I think that it may have contributed to the whole being warn out thing. So I was warn out even before I was pregnant (the trip was in January). Conceived in February. Incidentally Angel was my pole dancer name. Just thought I'd throw that in there. Not that anything could actually shock you ladies. By the way If anyone wants to go on an adventure with me next year throw your ideas my way. Things went great with Katy last night!

Thanks for the nice comments Bob, fun to hear from the peanut gallery. Here is my latest fave quote-

"Just as a picture is drawn by an artist, surroundings are created by the activities of the mind" Buddha (BC568-488)

Good Saturday!

Had to take a minute before rushing off to the auction to tell Lydia I didn't mean to rant last night, either. Okay, maybe I did. Isn't that what this blog is for?? (Among other things?) But, I sure didn't mean to sound mean and like I was attacking.
I am so glad you are helping Brandy with the shower, Lydia. I was worried about her. I know how much she hates this sort of thing. She's the other 1/2 of my brain and sometimes she's the wise old sage I go to for advice, and sometimes she's my baby sister I want to hug and protect (and occasionally kick in the ass). I know she won't mind my saying those things.
Brandy, I keep forgetting to share a sex story with you that I know you will find amusing, but this isn't the forum for it. Remind me next time we chat.
Once B gets Jordan up, I hope you all enjoy it. Brandy started it and then sucked me into Jordan's world and I must admit I loved every minute of the time we spent there. Jordan wasn't just a story - it was a labor of love for us both - even the days Brandy MADE me write and I didn't want to. And looking back on it, the hours I spent addding punctuation (Brandy doesn't nomrally believe in puncuation :0) were even fun!!
Wanted also to say "Hello Bob!" to our emailer. That was too cute and made me smile in the middle of my ranting last night. Derek and I will be going to the dance tonight, but I won't be doing any "partaying". (However, I've said that before, so if no one hears from me for a few days, you know I have no self-discipline, no self-control, and I'm recovering from another record breaking hangover.)

And the planets aligned and a miracle happened

Okay I have said more than enough for my rant on why women are stupid. Please don't take any of it wrong Lydia and please feel free to tell us to stuff it anytime. I like Kelly and think has definite man potential but your road is long and hard and if you are not honest with yourself and Kelly it will be even harder. Hope all of you received the Baby shower invites. If not let me know and I will send again. I did try. Lydia if you need any supplies for any of the games you are thinking of let me know and I will buy them for you as you shouldn't have to spend any of your money. Can't believe it is tomorrow. Thanks for the pep talk BTW, I needed it. I really do dread being out in public as I just don't feel I belong with most people. You are officially in charge of games. May be having food. I keep telling Michaels mom not to bother or stress because of it but Michaels father is a pain in the ass and seems to think she should cook for 40 people. He better behave himself tomorrow, He thinks April has an attitude problem, he hasn't seen mom get pissy yet. And he is one of the most annoying patronizing drunks I have met in a long time. Reminds me of my father in his younger years before pain made him realize he was not King of the world. Has that Latin "Women are put here to serve and man is God" idea. I hate macho men.

Was the carnival fun? I used to love school carnivals don't go anymore, tried telling Les we should go just to watch Kelly in the petting Zoo but he said no. Les and hundreds of Children is not usually a good idea so I didn't press the issue. Hope everything went okay with Katy.

Lydia loved your comments back to Melisa on saying hello to men, it is so the truth and in a celebration to how stupid men can be I have decided to publish Jordan on a separate Blog. This is the book Dona and I wrote while stuck in Kansas with a bunch of rednecks. Clearly shows the average male mindset., I still love this book, maybe getting it up on the blog will make me edit it enough that someone will offer to publish it. It was a lot of work but I loved writing it and still like reading it.
Will post the link soon. Have to hand copy the paragraph over to preserve the formatting so you will only be getting a few pages at a time.

Back to the Miracle, Have you ever noticed that you can want sex and be good and get up and shave the legs etc everyday for a week if hopes that you might get some and then the moment you give up and don't shave for a day the guy wants it.
I have always wondered about this and I know I am not the only woman who has experienced, Dona at least has confessed to the same turmoil. Or she could just be lying to make me feel better. At any rate. Most excellent sex Tuesday, I mean the stellar star bursting type not just normal married which is also good but there is a difference. And it was even on a day I had just shaved the legs after several of not. So the stars must have been in some sort of special alignment. Of course one of my children did manage to call at a particularly poor moment but against my normal nature I did not answer the phone.

It amazes me that even 1000 miles away my son has some of the worst timing I have ever know. :0)

Have a great day all

PS Am inviting Jean to join us, A woman I know who lives in OK, Who I have kind of adopted as a grandmother since mine passed away right before I got to know her. Love this woman want her to blog so everybody say hello and beg her to join for me.


PPS. Working on t he Bio Melisa and have an idea of what to write should get it up in the next few days.
Love you all
B

Our first Blog Email - Thanks Robert you are obviously a good man to recognize our greatness

Hi There, I sure appreciate the strength of all you women. I was turned on to your site by an infamous potter !! You are all such unique individuals, with interesting stories of life's punches. If it could only be put on to film we could all be rich !! Kind of like monty python doing a woody allen flick, or vice versa. "Always look on the bright side of life ......whistling" . To Mish, the pole dancer RULES, Brandy you rock , Dona partay on !! Blogging is new to me, as is this computer, so I am just fascinated with this whole new concept of the REAL modern world, as I am with pottery and potter's. I'll drop by again, thanks. PEACE & LOVE , >o-BOB-o<

And the crowd cheers....

Okay, Brandy's blog has inspired me to blog twice in the same day - a real miracle.
As I was reading Brandy's blog, I found myself cheering and applauding.
I'm at a loss as to why it's not until later in life, after we've given so much of ourselves, that we suddenly realize we matter too, and 95% of the crap we worried, fretted, and made ourselves sick over for years is just that - crap. None of it matters. Which only reiterates what Brandy says - you have to learn not care.
Brandy hit on several good points - first, we learn it from our mothers. No matter what they TELL us, we learn what they SHOW us. Second, WE raise men. So, in essence it's our fault they turn out the way they do. We owe it to future generations to teach our sons (and grandsons) those things Brandy mentioned. After all, those are the qualities that make REAL men - not the kind of men our society makes men think they should be.
I was telling Brandy the other day that I spent 14 years in an incredibly crappy (I seem to have a very limited vocabulary tonight) marriage because I "loved" him. Put up with the kind of stuff you think only happens on soap operas or bad Lifetime movies. (Is there such a thing as a good Lifetime movie? I digress....) For the last 11 years I've been with someone who has made me believe I never had a clue what real love was before. This man is truly my soul mate, my other half, and every other cliche' I heard all my life but didn't understand. I would take a bullet for him in a heartbeat. Yet, I have not, and never will, take 1/100th of the shit from him I took from my ex. I have finally learned that "love" does not mean demeaning, degrading, or lessening myself in any way, shape, or form. And a man who truly loves you wouldn't let you, much less expect you too. And when you love someone you are HAPPY for their joys, their accompishments, their good fortune in winning a trip!!
The stepchild thing - I can (again) relate. I have been in every chair at the particular dinner table - I've been the stepchild, the stepparent, the parent of the stepchild. Every one of those positions is basically a bitch. It's hard to be any of those things and there is no easy solution. Brandy's advice is pretty much exactly what I would tell you. Katy wants you gone. Katy wants her mom and dad together. You will never change that and shouldn't beat yourself up over it. All you can do is change your reactions to it. I went through much the same thing with all 3 of Darrel's kids for many years. And since I raised Derek the last 5 years he was home, it was a nightmare sometimes. I spent a lot of time being physically sick over the way they felt, bending over backwards to do any and every thing I could think of to "fix" it (don't even get me started on our "fixation" with "fixing" everyone and everything!!) until I finally ended up so sick I had to drop out of school for a semester. Had stressed so badly over it that although I was drinking gallons of water a day, I dehydrated so badly the muscles in my legs shrunk and I "limped" around all hunched up. (a pretty sight walking the campus) Was told by the doctors that my electrolytes and sodium and other chemical levels were so low that it was a wonder I hadn't had a heart attack and would have shortly. That was when I realized I had to adopt the "I don't care" attitude. I was killing myself - the kids weren't. I was friendly, did all the normal things I did before - just didn't care if they like me or not. Guess what - today Derek is one of my best and closest friends. Darrel teases me all the time that I'm calling my "girlfriend" because he and I talk on the phone for hours about nothing. Derek and Tracy (one of Darrel's daughters) told me a few weeks ago I was more of a mother to them than their own mother ever was. (Their mother is in their lives, but she left them with Darrel when the were 3, 4, and 7.) Anyway, I never wanted to be their mother and I still encourage them to be forgiving of the stupid things she did when she was young, and ... oh hell... I digress again. Anyway, the point is, even if they didn't come around to being my friends, I saved myself a HUGE amount of heartache and emotional, spiritual, and physical pain by realizing I could never change them. I could only be me and hope someday they'd realize I wasn't so bad.
I now have cramped fingers and so much rattling around in my brain it's about to explode. Good night!

If you like animals better than people

It means that you prefer to deal with an intelligent species.

If you want to hear things you wish you had said take April out with you one day. She grew up listening to me, dona and another friend Cathy with all the things we wish we had said. Gives me the shivers and makes me want to melt into a wall at times with what is coming out of her mouth. This is a trait she gets from her father. Les has been known to comment on people in public which usually also makes me want to pretend I am not with him. Things like, "Did your mother raise you to be fat rude and stupid" Usually said to large person not looking where they are going or doing rude things like cutting in line in front of his pregnant daughter. From what I understand he carried on a rather long rampage over some stupid woman at home depot the other day that basically pushed April out of the line so she could be next.. Said person was Mexican and did not speak English so I doubt she understood everything he was saying to her and it certainly didn't make her move any faster. Thankfully I wasn't there. His other two favorites are "Do I look like I need your fucking help" when in a hardware and approached by some cute little boy in an Apron. And the always favorite telephone skills. He firmly believes it is rude to ask who is calling so he will not tell who he is but he will tell them,"If I wanted you to know who I was I would have told you" or "Is it any of your fucking business" Needless to say there are reasons we don't take him out in public much. And believe it or not he has mellowed in his old age. Now I operate on a completely different method, since brute force is not my strong point. I just make people want to do things for me, Mainly men, by being nice to them, kill them with kindness is my motto. As for the little boys at hardware stores I find one on the way in and make him push my cart around and show me where everything is. They become my personal shopper until I leave. To me this seems so much more civilized, but then Les never Claimed to be civilized.

In order to deal with Katie peaceably you need to learn a couple of simple rules. First the kill them with kindness works on bratty children also. However in order for it to be effective you must learn and practice life's greatest secret. What is the all important secret that will save you hours and hours of grief. Are you sure you want to know because it is very powerful.

Okay if you insist..... Quit caring, Yes it is that easy, this doesn't mean be rude or passive aggressive and it certainly will save you from those migraines, it just means you accept the fact that she is going to be a brat until she grows up and you quit caring. Accept her for the brat she is and then you can have some fun.

Killing with kindness is my other favorite, not to be confused with giving or presents, treats or in anyway altering rules. No matter what she says or does be nice. Be disgustingly sweet nice, the nicer you are the more belligerent she will get until she realizes she can't fluster you anymore and she will quit. May take a few months. But you will be amazed at how much personal gratification you will get from her confusion.
This also works on Men. One of my favorites is when men get to controlling and stupid you just drop to your knees start bowing and going yes master. After which they feel like idiot and shut up or at least go elsewhere to regroup and leave you alone.

Other tricks which also work are the lectures; My children have them numbered in their minds for any situation. Now a lecture to be effective has to cover all bases and must be brutally honest, you must ground your lectures in facts. Honor and guilt are good things to use to be more effective. And feel free to actually use personal things. My children were never allowed out after 11 even when they were 16 or 17 years old. It didn't matter, my ass had to go to work and I shouldn't be required to suffer stay up late and wait for them. You will here the lifetime excuse of Mom you don't have to worry just go to bed. This does not work, You are responsible for their ass until they are 18, If they screw up and get in trouble you the parent will be the one paying for it., If they get caught drinking and driving in today's world this can even lead to the possible removal of your other children and no they can not stay out. Use worse case senarios make them long and drawn out. A good lecture should last for at least an hour if not two. Bring in anything historically or legally relevant as this also teaches them history and law and government. Do not let the child sit and roll their eyes take them for a walk in public where they have to look attentive or be seen as not cool because they are in trouble. This gets a much more animated response.

And last but not least you are the grown up who gives a shit what the kids wants. Be honest she wants you dead and her parents back together, since it is not going to happen quit caring and letting it hurt you. No one else can hurt you are responsible for your own emotions and reactions, they can't bother you unless you let them.

Oh yah, remember to laugh, preferably right after the child has given you an ultimatum. Make this long rolling laughter, Laughter after all is a great way to start the lecture where you tell the child in no uncertain terms exactly what you think of their present attitude or predicament whichever the case may be.

Okay it has taking me two days to write because I have been trying to find a way to sugarcoat it. But honestly Lydia are you fucking nuts????????? If I had won a trip anywhere to only question in my mind would be when is the plane leaving. I would never consider asking Les' opinion or approval. While I admit I have done a lot of stupid woman things in my life (This blog is not long enough to list them all) I have never gone that far (Okay well maybe I have in other ways but this is a family blog and I can't list them here, besides they would just piss me off). Kelly not wanting you to go is one of the most selfish ass backwards things I have ever heard.

Lets take a look at his excuse: Because you had been in the hospital. If I remember correctly you ended up in the hospital for so long because you were pregnant and left home alone to deal with 3 kids multiple rentals, bills, etc...... In other words you were fucking exhausted and needed a vacation. Kelly telling you not to go had nothing to do with your health it was merely a control factor and it was a mistake on his part. Does he not realize the amount of good sex and other goodies a wife is ready for after her husband sends her away for a few days to stay at a nice hotel with no responsibilities, I mean really he didn't even have to shell out money. For an all expense paid trip to New York I would probably even clean house and cook (at least for a few weeks)

I am astounded that he did this even more than I am that you would agree to it. Women do stupid things for men all our lives. We bitch about it but and then wonder why our daughters get stuck in the same type of relationships. I know I told April different but I didn't show her different and for that I am ashamed of myself. We have to start, we are the mothers we have the control and are capable of turning out boys who understand how we feel, and what honor and truth and love really are. But we have to teach them. You can't leave it up to daddy because to be honest most men don't have a clue. They don't even know anything about themselves much less women.
We have to change.

I love men, I love my husband but the sad fact is that while I would miss him terribly if he were gone I am no longer willing to give up parts of myself for his happiness. In that regard I just don't care anymore.. You told me the other day that you are afraid of Kelly. I may be wrong but I would guess its not Kelly you are afraid it is being alone. Alone with the kids the bills and the uncertainty. I discussed this with Les who said he should "A Mans Guide to Marriage" should be humorous reading if nothing else. He said the funny thing is you have nothing to be afraid of , Kelly loves you and he is in way to deep to get out now. Do you know what it would cost him to leave you.

So do what you want, takes his feelings into consideration but don't keep giving up your dreams and other parts of yourself because if you do you will end up hating him in the end and when menopause does hit (Dona is right about this) and you mind out the true meaning of moodiness it will not be pretty. Believe me, I am not joking about crying for two years wondering while I ever considered getting married and having kids when all they do is suck the life right out of you. I told Les one day I was considering suicide because at least then I could rest. He smarted off with just don't use my gun. I replied of course I would use his gun in his bed so that he would be inconvenienced as much as possible. I turned into the evil bitch from hell and I meant every word. Now I manage to only go 2 or 3 days being really pissed before I tell him what is wrong and amazingly enough he still hasn't left, the world has not fallen apart. Indeed it has actually gotten better and I am much happier and even glad most days I didn't leave him or off myself.

Hi April, yes it's easier to start writing when you totally pissed off about something but watch out, soon you'll be blathering about every little thing...if you are anything like me.... I am really happy to see you writing here too, thanks for the input. Great responses too, I was cracking up here reading them. Lydia, you are an inspiration and an angel, don't forget it! I was all productive today, cleaning and working, paying bills, jogged with the dog and had a wonderful omelette...and then got a headache and wasted the rest of the day vegging out. Now I am off to take my daughter to ice skating practice and then to a Native American powwow...in Tempe. Also scoping out a repair job the city of Tempe wants me to do... China is PAID FOR and I have my passport... YIKES, it is June 4-18, which is seven weeks from today....!!!!

Animals\Kids

April I am so glad you wrote. Anger always inspires me to write. I think that writing is a healthy way to vent. Sometimes I wish that I would say some of the things that I just write. I am working on that one. When I read April's writing , I was thinking to myself that April is definitely Brandy's daughter. April I have gathered up some hand me down baby duds for you. Try and use some of them it will save you some money. Dona, on the subject of animals... I have found that I like most animals better than most people. I wonder what that says about me? Kelly and I dream of moving out to the country, right now we are in the looking for the right land at the right price point in our dream but it will happen. I even decided that I might like to have a petting zoo but I don't know if that one will work because I probably would not appreciate any creepy little kids molesting the animals. Some day I will be the weird old lady with the ten cats. Right now I am just the slightly different young woman with the four children that are some times mistaken for animals. Kelly's daughter Katy will join us tonight. I have not seen her for months. I started thinking about this yesterday and I managed to give myself a migraine headache, complete with nausea and vomiting. (Not that you needed those details) I walk on egg shells around that kid. In her very own words the world would be perfect if I did not exist. There will be plenty of people around, I will not make the mistake of trying to make polite conversation. I will not give her any reason to invent any new lies to tell her mother. Please Lord open her heart and allow her to forgive me for any perceived wrong that I have done her. Please help me to be loving and remember that she is not only Kelly's child but yours also. Let all hurts and resentment go and allow nothing but love to pass through me. I can do all things through Christ. Today is the day that the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it. Lord help me to accept others as you accept me. I would like Katy to know me, I think that I have a lot of things to offer her that she will not get from her mother and father.

Just Wait 'Till Menopause Gets Home. . .

Lydia - Sounds to me like once again - you are normal! It doesn't sound as if you are ready to be classified as manic-depressive - just a normal woman, mother, wife. I, however, have come to the conclusion that menopause is the real "curse" and not our monthly period, as our mothers and grandmothers used to call it. Actually, I'm not mood swinging so much as mood sliding. I'm pretty happy almost all the time, but whatever my state of mind, I seem to cry every time the wind blows. (and in Kansas that's pretty much all the time) I must have done something awful in a past life and weeping tears of atonement for it in this one.
The carnival sounds like fun and I want to work the petting zoo! But not a good idea, as I would no doubt bring every animal home with me. One of the girls that works at the vet's office yesterday informed me she has a female Catahoula (that's what my much loved and much missed Digger was) she is trying to get rid of, and the dog is expecting a litter any day. I swore when I had Digger put to sleep there would be NO MORE dogs!! But....no - I didn't say yes, but I did get her phone number and it's all I can think about. When dropping hints to Darrel about it last night, it was made very clear that I could throw the number away. He's right of course - Keegan will start roaming the countryside again with another dog here, we've agreed to pare down on things that have to be worried about and taken care of every time we want to travel (although this does not seem to apply to the purchase of a new cow or calf every time he gets in the mood), and so on and so on. Yes - he's absolutely right (I hate when that happens!) but still, I WANT HER!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Apie - that sounds so scarey, but of course I expect nothing less of you than exactly what you did! Actually, I'm sure if you weren't in your condition you would have run out, wrestled him to the ground, and beat the ever loving crap out of him. I've always fully believed that everything happens for a reason, and here's proof - all that discomfort was so you could save your car! Maybe I'll send you a baseball bat to sleep with for a shower gift. If nothing else, you can use it to wake Michael up next time you need a knight in shining armour.
This is way too early for me to be typing, but sister called last night and asked me to work the lunch crowd today, so I am upright and functional (okay - semifunctional) much earlier than normal. At least they won't be drunk this time of day - which is probably not a good thing now that I think about it, as that means I have to at least appear to be semi-human.
Now that you've broken the ice, Apie, we expect to hear more from you!
Have a great one, everyone!

I Hate People

After months of my mother bugging me about blogging and never really having anything I wanted to share. I have now found something that pissed me off enough to tell everyone else. While on my 3 am run for the bathroom, and to the kitchen for some rollaids for the never ending heartburn. I was standing in my kitchen when a small silver car pulled up next to My Honda. Thinking that the speed was a little fast and after living here for six months I knew for sure it was not a car from the houses around us. While normally I would have no clue who or what lives near but I'm just so lucky that Michael had to know every one and thus so I do to, like I care, anyway back to the point. Out of the little silver car jumps
a little teenager (one some mother did not beat near often enough) He then pulls out a long silver object from his pants. Still half asleep, I'm still not really sure what the kid is doing till he walks to my passenger side door and tries to jimmy it open. First thought, where's a gun when you need one? I did however quickly turn on our porch light and open the door and start screaming at him to get away from my car. The little shit lucky for him did leave because the next door guy who is like a 100 showed up in time to see the car drive away with gun in hand, (if only he could have been faster could have got the little asshole.)
but its okay he might have missed and hit my car. And just a note the boy who is here to be the protection of the house was and is still asleep. I tried to wake him but got to words in before he went back to sleep. Thus why I had to tell all of you. The whole point of this story being I really heartburn and having to pee ever hour but I'm sure glad I had it to night other wise I may have been writing about how they took my car instead of how they just tried too.

:) Mood Swing Queen :(

Melisa your last blog made me giggle, I bet you wish that you never said Hi to him. Didn't anyone ever tell you that hello means I WANT YOU in guy language. I hope that you didn't smile and say Hi to him because then you might as well get a restraining order (right now) or you could date him out of pity. Just kiddin ya! I tried to break up with Kelly while we were dating but he just moved in with me without asking and hung around until I got used to him. I love that man. Tomorrow we are working at Blaze's (my five year old son) school carnival. Kelly didn't care that I signed him up to work at the petting zoo. He doesn't care when I bring home stray animals. He eats what I feed him. He gives money to any charity I ask him too. He's an okay guy and he has nice legs. He's a bit of a control freak and has a short fuse but I'm not perfect either. I'm a lousy house keeper, I have a short attention span and I am way too hard on people. Thanks for the words of encouragement Dona and Mish. I feel like the mood swing queen here lately.

Just Stuff

I too, love Asimov, Mish, and the quote is terrific. And Lydia - don't wait for the invite - just GO to the shower!!! I know Brandy is in need of support. Wish I could just fly in and show up. I know now that her mom isn't coming she is dreading it.
You are all so damned productive. Lydia raising kids (I'm sure it feels more like 5 than 4 most of the time), Melisa going to college, Mishy teaching classes. My big news for the day is I am taking Darrel's dog, Keegan, to the vet for his yearly checkup and shots. Don't misunderstand though - Keegan is one of my favorite "people" to hang with. (Talk about unconditional love!!)
Lydia - hang tough! I too, can so identify with how you are feeling. And you definitely are NOT mean or morbid. You are (dare I day it??) NORMAL. Brandy and I have had this fantasy since almost the day we met about both our husbands being gone and she and I living as the weird old ladies back in the woods that the towns people warn people not to go near.
Darrel and I have 4 kids between us, the oldest will soon be 29 and the youngest will soon be 24. When the 24 year old left home about 6 years ago, after graduation, it was like being handed a brand new life to do anything we wanted with, at the age of 41. We really haven't done much except some traveling and moving to the most isolated spot we could find, but the "clothing optional" rule that went into affect the day Derek moved out is still fun! :-) Of course, I can't say that there wasn't much I wanted to do while raising my daughter that I didn't do, (but I did wait until she left home to go to college and get a degree) but then I was not a great mother. It wasn't until she was grown that I truly understood what an important and fulfilling role that is. I would do a lot of things differently if I had it to do over.
My ex (we were married for 14 years) was a traveling salesman (every stereotype and traveling salesman joke totally applied in his case) and I too was more lonely when he came home than when he was on the road. Finally got to the point that I dreaded his returns, so I knew it was time to move on with my life. But, we did not have the basis for our marriage that you and Kelly seem to have. It is rare and if it's what you want, fight for it.
I find myself a temporary "work widow" lately, too. Darrel is also in the gas and oil field and the company is doing massive reconstruction on the gas storage plant. Since Darrel has been there since it was built and oversaw all the initial construction, he has to be there every minute work is in progress. He worked 96 hours in the last 8 days and I'm not real sure I would recognize him in daylight at this point. As I told Brandy, the only good thing about all the hours he is working is that I now have until 8 or 9 p.m. to make it look like I did something productive with my day, instead of until 4 p.m.
Derek and I are going to a dance at my sister's bar Saturday night (Darrel will no doubt have to work and be too exhausted to even think of going) and I am Derek's designated "babysitter," as after last weekend I have no desire to drink. (I hope that will be the last stupid drunk story I"ll have to share for a long, long time!)
Well, time to go treat the ducks to their weekly treat of all the lettuce and other vegetable scraps from the bar. I hear them raising hell out there - I don't know how they know when it's Thursday. I imagine them in the chicken house pulling out their little calenders and checking the days off.

Thanks Melisa...and Dona...and Brandy..and Lydia...it's nice to know someone besides me likes her...there are, of course, things that bug me about her that I would do better next time, but that's to be expected. Melisa, I would like to get one or two kittens...right now! Too bad you can't ship 'em here....

And here is my contribution for the day. I love Isaac Asimov, read so much of his stuff aloud to my son when he was younger and homeschooling, we both were just completely fascinated by his writing...saw this great quote today-

Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. -Isaac
Asimov, scientist and writer (1920-1992)

Have a high school field trip coming to raku today, there was one group here on Tuesday, these are advanced art classes, they glaze their stuff and bring it ready to raku fire, we fire it and they take them back to school finished...all in about three hours. They love my place and I like having fifteen or twenty high school kids wandering the place, go figure! The teacher has brought her classes here most semesters, for about three or four years now, some of the kids have been here a couple times before. Pays well, and, this time, it's cash (whoo HOOO, sometimes it'd purchase-order and wait for a check). And, she gives me a tip, such a sweetie. Then, when we are done firing today, I have to run over to the other shop where I teach, have a group of seven homeschool kids to teach throwing to. Busy busy!

Lydia, my heart goes out to you so much, you have no idea. Your image presented of your marriage...sounds soooooo familiar it just tugs on my heart and gut to read it. And I COMPLETELY understand your faithfulness and love for him. I just hope you guys can do the work it takes to keep it from falling apart, that we could not do in my marriage. I am feeling so much better here, and realizing that it's time to admit to myself that I *want* this divorce now...and I really do, but it feels like failure to admit it. Life can be so hard sometimes! It is inspiring to read of your faith...that strength you get from unconditional love..I want to aspire to being able to love, unconditionally...I think that's an important task in life, not an easy one, but one that will help in the harder times...

Okay, back to your regular programming....

hello

I was reading about Chernobyl and i found that site quite interesting. 600 years.... it's hard to believe or imagine something could be so destructive. I can't imagine what it would be like to be there either, surrounded by such a complete and eerie silence....creepy...

They didn't like the pole dancer?! C'mon, i thought she was cool.

Ok. So here comes my ranting. Last week i said "Hello" to his guy that i "dated' at one time. We stopped talking about 2 months ago, which is funny because we have two classes together. (if i never mentioned it, you can guess i'm a college student) anyway, we've been ignoring each other for 2 months and i thought it was ridiculous so i said Hello. He seemed to take it as an invitation to start calling me again and make a nuisance of himself. So i told him not to call, and the next day he calls - which kinda pisses me off, but i try to start out friendly. He inevitably ends up getting on my nerves. And then i try to get him off the phone and he won't hang up until I get so frustrated I hang up. THEN, he calls back - repeatedly until i end up turning off my phone. And then of course later, he accuses me of always hanging up on him. How else am i supposed to get off the phone with someone who won't hang up?! So anyhow, yesterday he called yet again, but i was in class so had the phone off. Then, later in the day for another class, i asked a guy friend to sit with me to deter the Nuisance from talking to me and it worked. He didn't call that night and not today either. So i hope he has decided to stop bugging me and i will not say Hello again!

In other news, the kittens are now a week old and doing fine. If you or someone you know wants one, let me know. Hey Brandy, if you wanna make up a bio for me, that's okay. Actually, i am curious what you would say to describe me. and if you put any overstatements (like programmer extraordinaire!) i will have some comments (corrections :P ). alrighty folks, that's it for me : )

Mean and Morbid

I was not really saddened at the lack of concern over my absence ( I just thought that it would be something funny to write ;) . I have not yet received an invite to Aprils shower. I guess I have to call Brandy. I wish that I had a good drunk story. Would settle for a good drink actually. Sorry he didn't like the pole dancer Mish. Art is subjective, I liked her face and hair the best. I'm stealing some moments to write while the kids run amuck and the husband sleeps. Kelly just got in at 1:00 PM. After I picked the kids up from school I got home and found him lying down reading a book. In my mind I was thinking why don't you put that book down and be with me. So I decided to say just that. He then informed me that he was trying to take a nap, he put the book down closed his eyes and went to sleep. I am lonelier when he is here than when he is gone. I guess I'm just going to throw in the towel and accept the fact that I have no husband. Just a lover that pays the bills. No friend or confidante. No partner in crime. No tag team partner when I wrestle the kids. Could be worse I guess. This morning I went to the Airport to sign over a travel voucher to someone else. Last year because of my volunteer work I won an all expense paid trip to New York but did not take the trip at Kelly's insistence. He did not think that I was healthy enough to travel as I had been recently hospitalized. So I'm kind of once again mourning my lost adventure. I had not thought about the trip in months and had no idea that a ticket had been purchased for me until I received a call that the agency would appreciate it if I would sign the voucher over. Have not so much as left the city since then. Sometimes I fantasize that I lead a wild life after the kids are grown and Kelly is dead. The way I calculate it this will happen in about 30 years. Kelly did so many drugs in his youth that I would be surprised if he lives passed 75. I will only be 59, mature but still young enough to enjoy life. I know, I am mean and morbid.

Honky Tonk Blues

Mish - I love her! Think she's cool and if he never calls, I'm sure you can sell her elsewhere. If you weren't so far away, I'd buy her from you just to stick in my sister's bar as a conversation piece! Carol has an assortment of penis sculptures people have brought her on the back bar now, so I think a pole dancer would fit right in.
Last night was a typical Tuesday night at the bar, which is to say it wasn't much different from any other night in any other bar anywhere in the world.
Lydia, like Brandy, I missed you but assumed with kids to raise it's pretty hard to find time to sit at the computer and type. I, on the other hand, have no such excuse. I'm just lazy.
Darrel and I went to the "big dinner" with his boss and assorted other big shots last Friday night, and I managed to make a total idiot of myself. I'm not a heavy drinker (and never drank beer in my life until my sister bought this "beer only" bar!) but once every 6 months or so I really tie one on. Where my brain was Friday night, I'll never know, but I chose dinner with Darrel's boss to do it. It was at a little local "club" and it was karaoke night (thank God I didn't sing, at least!) and by late in the night all of our table of 20 or so had left except Darrel, John (one of Darrel's oldest friends and a guy he works with), me, and Wayne (Darrel's boss). The four of us were beyond shit faced and at one point I was dancing (not a pretty sight in itself) with Wayne. The next thing I know I'm flat on the dance floor and Wayne is desperately trying to pick me up and get me to stand on 2 wobbely legs in high heels. Everyone insists Wayne just laughed it off, but I'm totally mortified and don't think I"ll be able to look Wayne in the eye for a long, long, time. See, Brandy - I've BECOME one of those stupid drunk stories I'm always telling! Saturday and Sunday were spent recovering from my stupidity and swearing I'm never drinking again.
I actually went to the Easter page you posted, B. I find it amusing that all our "religious" holidays are based on pagan holidays. Historians have proved Jesus was born in June or July (that's when ancient records show the census was taken) but we celebrate it in December because that's when "pagans" celebrated the winter solstice.
Well, for the first time in 5 days it is going to be above 54 degrees out (a balmy 72 today), so I think I'll go commune with mother nature and try to accomplish cleaning out my "eBay" house. If I'm going to an auction Saturday I need to make room for all the crap ...er...treasures...I'll be toting home. (Needless to say, didn't make it to the "big" auction last Saturday, due to the worst hangover in history.) But, the one this Saturday looks promising. You all have a glorious day!!

the infamous pole-dancer story

Okay, but it's a little embarrassing, and I already typed it once and lost it (first time i've done that). So, John is the main guy I talked to. He invited me to lunch, which I attended, and he had another guy along, Byron. John did most of the talking, had a printout of photographs of a woman doing a pole dance, quite a few shots, in 360 degrees, perfect for what I needed to create the piece. We discussed his requirements...and I told him for $200 that it would not be detailed...I first quoted $300 and he instantly wanted the 'deal' for 'less detail'. When I delivered the statue, John was out of town and Byron was receiving it...John told me I didn't have to mount it to the pole. So, I brought the apparatus in the photo, to show him how I was thinking they could mount it. I could tell, as I set it up on his desk, that he didn't like it...and he was uncomfortable. He ushered me to a seat in this open-air office, a tee-shirt art company with a half dozen employees working at various computers. He left the office area and obviously was trying to reach John...on the phone...while I sat in the office waiting, for about forty five minutes, minimum. Finally, he came out with a cell phone and it was John saying that Byron was telling him that the statue was nothing like we'd talked about...something about the arms being out of proportion and the feet...I told him that I didn't know what to say, and that I did follow his requirements...and explained my idea for mounting on a pole, and he said he would have Byron pay me 20 bucks for driving it out there (I was charging them $14), and I should take the statue home...which I did... and he would call me when he gets back to town... But...I will NOT deliver it again!
By the way, thanks Lydia and the woman in the photograph John brought was built a lot like me...so most sculptors tend to do self portraits...he specified silicone, big boobs...which I did...and the focus on them...that is nothing like me! Anyway, that's the pole dancer story, and I still have her. Will let you know if/when he calls.

Haunting trip through Chernobyl today

Chernobyl by motorbike

This girl is either brave or crazy but the site is definately worth a walk through if for no other reason than to remind us how close the end can be on any given day. Mostly pictures with captions this is a captivating tour of the worlds most famous modern day ghost town on a motcycle with a geiger counter. I took the complete photo tour and now have no time to write anything else. Oh well it was worth it.

Love the Pole Dancer but anxious to hear the rest of the story as promised

Cats may Rule but I can't fund ya

Hy Lydia, Which instant messenger did you sign up with? I tried to add Catsrule1974 to Yahoo messenger which the rest of currently use most. (We have other this on is just the current standard) I can't get it to work. If you are using yahoo send a note to dragonez through the messenger and I will link you to mine so we can chat.

Can you say big play by the drug companies

A nationwide ban of the diet supplement ephedra went into effect yesterday. The herbal stimulant has been linked to 155 deaths and many more heart attacks and strokes. Ephedra manufacturer NVE Pharmaceuticals, claiming that the FDA lacked proof that ephedra is dangerous if used as directed, was denied a temporary restraining order on the ban yesterday by a federal judge. (AP)

And yet

In the United States Tylenol is associated with more than 100,000 calls a year to poison control centers, as well as 56,000 visits to emergency departments, 26,000 hospitalizations, and 450 deaths.

Really man, its the legal drugs that will kill you

CatsRule1974

I am not a total idiot. I actually managed to set up instant messenger. I am CatsRule1974. It was actually quite easy. Now if I can just figure out how to get the blog this button I will really feel empowered. I am nothing if not easily amused. I had a beautiful day today. I went to church and stayed in the nursery with Ranger and helped Ms. Connie with the abundance of little ones. Kelly 2 really digs Ms. Connie. He thinks that she is the cats meow and she is. This woman has a beautiful way with children and that is so admirable. She treats Kelly like a prince. Kelly will soon be three and will be moving out of her room and I'm not sure how that one will go over. We shall see. I really like the pole dancer, I was expecting her to be more volumptuous though. I don't know why that is. It is hard to imagine that brief former occupation of mine but it really was not that long ago that my rear did not look bad in a thong.

Its not that you weren't missed

Just that if you noticed I haven't had time to write or bitch, besides you have 4 kids we would expect that there are days you won't make it to the blog. Hopefully Kelly will find something closer to home maybe at one of the refineries. Just watching gas pressures in a room here pays 12-15 bucks an with awesome benefits. Tried to get Les into at one time but he did not have the specific experience. I know he wouldrather do something completely different but at least it would be on shore and he would have more time for other endeavers.

I did not color eggs this year, havent' for a few years. Don't really miss it but I am sure I will be doing it again soon with Miss Emily. Holidays in my family were always extravigant affairs. My favorite part of Easter was always the eggs and candy, it was those annual Easter Brunches at the Biltmore in Phoenix with it ceiling covered in a slod coating of gold leaf. When I was a youngun I used to imagine the enormous wealth tht lay just above my head and it gave me a pleasant cinderella feeling for the day. All dressed up and somewhere to go. Also the food was wonderful. All you can eat when you are still young enough to actually eat it all. Banquet table filled with every type of food imaginable. A truly bountiful feast. And don't forget the champagne. My family was never big on drinking but holidays and family dinners always had good wine or champagne and all the children were allowed a small glass (in a real wineglass), There was only rarely someone drunk, It was a celebration of all things fine and I am glad that my family included the children to such degree in these, It left behind a residue in my spirit of more genteel times were manners and grace were intrisic parts of life.

There have been times in my life when I have disliked my mothers extremes on holidays as I grew into a bratty teenager they took to much time and were too elaborate and seemed to grate agaiust the teenage grain of simplicity and leave me alone. As a young mother she was an impossible force to live up to. I just never had the planning and decorating skills she so easily applies to everythng in her life. So I have finally come to a comfortable place in dealing with holidays. At home I do what I want and my wants are simple. Good food and family or just mornings of fuzzy silence to read and drink chocolate and blog upon. When I am with my mother I suffer the large gatherings of friends and family with a smile on my face knowing that without her influence every few years I might drift away from humanity all together and live in my fuzzy silent chocolate womb.

Happy Easter to all, Daughter just Imsd that she is on her way over for breakfast, The fuzzy silence was nice while it lasted

The Easter Page -- Traditions, History, and Dates of Easter

Now you can find out exactly how the Easter Eggs relates to this particular holiday. Very short but fairly informativeThe Easter Page -- Traditions, History, and Dates of Easter

Two pics of the infamous pole dancer sculpture

And wait til you hear the latest on that adventure....Sheesh! Here are some photos anyway...

He has risen!

I am still alive, I am saddened at the lack of concern over my absence, but it is understandable that no one would miss my bitching. It may be that I had no complaints and thus nothing to write about or it could be that I was too busy playing with my children and my new cat. I adopted a cat at the humane society and she is exquisitely lovely.She is a black and red calico with some orange tabby markings her name is Iris and she is way cool. Kelly does not know that we have a cat yet because I have not told him. Won't he be surprised! She is purrfect and she gets along with the dog. She loves it when the children play with her. He probably won't be as surprised as I was when Kelly called me to say that he quit his job (which for those of you that don't know is Offshore Oil field Production). Don't ask me what that is exactly because I'm not that clear on it. Gets oil out of the ground, he hates it. Yet he has been doing it for years and he is damn good at it. The money is good, better than anything else around here. So, I don't know what is going to happen in the next few days. I would like for Kelly to come home and do whatever his heart desires. I don't really care, we are both smart and capable. I was hoping to stay home with Ranger and Kelly for at least a couple of years but Kelly is so miserable leaving us for a week at time. We originally decided that we would work toward his coming home in a few years. My husband is hot headed, I wish that he would consult me before making major decisions, I would like the opportunity to support him and not just after the fact. My friend Sarah thinks that because of my age Kelly does not view me as an equal partner in her opinion I am somewhat like a child in his charge. I don't know if I buy that but I wonder about this some times. I am so breaking my diet. Chips and dip and chocolate. I should just get a spoon for this French Onion dip. Yes Brandy I would love to come to the baby shower with the Ranger man. I do not know what to get April, I was thinking a case of diapers and some other assorted things that I know she will need and use even if they aren't very cute or fun. But those pink clothes are awfully tempting. My hands are stained with Easter egg dye, I used the left over dye and tie dyed some shirts for Kelly 2 and Rangy. I feel like eating all of the childrens Easter candy. What the heck does colored eggs have to do with Jesus Christ anyway? That one makes me scratch my head. The resurrection of Christ, the stone was rolled away and chocolate bunnies. A crown of thorns and marshmallow peeps. Cascarones! I used to call them confetti eggs but in South Texas they are cascarones. I have confetti in my hair from the cascarone fight at church this afternoon, mucho fun.
Gifts for April
Diapers
breast pads
those other kind of pads
Ibuprofen
Baby gas drops
That thing so her head won't wiggle in the car seat
Alcohol pads (for umbilical cord)
I wonder if she wants my mostly blue baby clothes.
On the subject of moving around, not like you asked or anything. Here are my thoughts. Stable = Good Stagnant = Bad not the same thing. It's good to be near the ones you love. I like this place but it's just a place, I might like it somewhere else better. Other places could be worse. I liked California, I liked Arizona, I liked Germany, no I take that back Germany was Okay. I like Texas even though I haven't really seen anything but this town which is nothing to look at. The beach has it's certain allure but it is so filthy here and the sand is coarse and brown. No soft white or golden beaches of my youth. I would like to find a rock around here that wasn't a chunk of concrete. Need to sleep. Thank you for laying down your life for me dear Lord even though I am vain, trivial, selfish and will never be worthy of you no matter how hard I try. My God is an awesome God! It is a beautiful feeling to know that you are loved unconditionally and constantly. He has risen!

I'm sober today! ("hic-cup")

Thought I better drop a line and let you all know I really am not a total idiot. Don't know what happened the other night (okay - yes I do - it was the wine). I was having a grand old time copying and pasting away. (Obviously)
As Brandy knows, I had the day of grandchildren from hell yesterday. The 1 and 2 year old both sick and screaming all day. Wasn't supposed to even babysit, but got woken up by an emergency call. "Kids are sick, can't go to day care, can you come up and babysit?" Couldn't possibly say no, but Janelle gave me a great idea today - CALLER
I.D.!!!! I can never say no, but I have no problem NOT answering the phone to hear the question!
Can't wait to see Mishy's latest creation. I envy any creative ability, as I have none.
Well, have just finished coloring Easter eggs (thank God that's done for another year) and for some reason the 7 year feels I should feed his growling stomach. I'd make him go forage outside, but it's pouring. (See, I do have a heart.)

Did I tell you about the sculpture of the pole dancer woman?

It's about done and I will most definitely photograph and post a couple here...she deserves to be viewed in 360 degrees... WHOOO I am happy with it, and should be getting a call in the next day or two to deliver it and pick up my balance due... Haven't mounted her on a pole yet...and need to get a little block of wood for a base...fun stuff...but more work too.

Got an official court paper today filed by Gary's attorney... a "Certificate of Readiness". Apparently...he is armed and ready for court...except that....we STILL haven't agreed on a business appraiser... DUH. I just feel so powerless...watching all our money get dwindled away on credit card interest...lawyers....counselors....... SIGH....good thing it's ONLY MONEY.
If only they'd listen to me, I'd have all our financial problems solved in about a week ;-) Funny.....but TRUE!!!!! Brandy, I KNOW you know what I mean.

Took Leesie to her skating lesson this morning. My fourteen year old is not only a gorgeous, perfect body, voluptuous, dark skinned, intelligent, charming scholar...but, she also has been learning to figure skate for about three years (minus about six months of divorce hell)...and she has landed her axel and is learning her double jumps now. As a mom, this is the most incredible sport to watch young girls learn...from the age of about 3 or 4, these girls get REALLY involved and wow, it's really amazing. My cutie isn't the most dedicated worker...but she does work hard enough to really do some beautiful skating and has won a couple first places in competition. She is going to resume competing in July this year, and is skating more these days, which means I get to see her more. We get to design a costume together (have a good friend, mom to another skater family, who sews costumes for skaters), and she puts together a program using music, with her coach and her choreographing together. She is doing a 'freestyle' (meaning, music with no words), her music is the theme to the second Harry Potter movie. It's fun to see the program coming together and her smile when she gets those jumps and spins mastered. I am going to get some pictures of her at the rink soon and will share here...

Directions to MIshys house for Dona

Directions to Mishys from Waldron. Didn't know Waldron actually had so many street names. Please note address is not mishys but it is close enough that if you get to this point you can call and I will tell you the rest of the way there

1: Start out going West on MCLOUD ST toward ORIENT ST. <0.1 miles Map 2: Turn LEFT onto ORIENT ST. 0.1 miles Map
3: ORIENT ST becomes N2710 RD. 0.8 miles Map
4: Turn RIGHT onto E0020 RD. 5.9 miles Map
5: Turn LEFT onto OK-58. 9.8 miles Map
6: Turn LEFT onto OK-11/OK-58/OK-8. 6.9 miles Map
7: Turn SLIGHT RIGHT onto US-64. 16.9 miles Map
8: Turn LEFT onto COLLEGE AVE/6TH ST/US-281. Continue to follow US-281. 26.3 miles Map
9: Turn RIGHT onto E SANTA FE ST/US-281. <0.1 miles Map
10: Turn LEFT onto S MAIN ST/US-281. Continue to follow US-281. 31.5 miles Map 11: Turn RIGHT onto US-60/W SHEPHERD ST/OK-51. Continue to follow US-60/OK-51. 1.7 miles Map
12: Turn LEFT onto US-183 S. 44.3 miles Map
13: Turn LEFT onto I-40 BL E/W CHOCTAW AVE/W GARY BLVD. 0.1 miles Map 14: Turn RIGHT onto N 4TH ST/US-183 S. 0.9 miles Map
15: Merge onto I-40 W. 780.5 miles Map
16: Merge onto I-17 S toward SEDONA/PHOENIX. 121.2 miles Map
17: Take the HAPPY VALLEY RD exit- exit number 218. 0.3 miles Map
18: Enter next roundabout and take 4th exit onto W HAPPY VALLEY RD. 0.3 miles Map
19: Turn SLIGHT RIGHT to stay on W HAPPY VALLEY RD. Pass through 1 roundabout. 0.9 miles Map
20: Turn LEFT onto N 19TH AVE (Portions unpaved). <0.1 miles Map
21 Call MIshy

Yes you are ALL welcome, ESPECIALLY if you clean!

Come one, come all, to Mishy's artway house and women's retreat!

News April likes to hear

Chocolate treats for moms may make for sweeter babies

I admit it I did laugh

But you know the edit button is there for a reason you can go back and delete posts or even copy between them.
Two glasses is obviously enough for you.

April says either way is fine with her as she is grateful for anything. Being he bad mother that I am I have to e mail the rest of the invites because I have not yet mailed them or ordered the cake I am really not very good at parties.

Offering to clean at Michelles is a sure way to get an invite to her house but I would still rather we all retire to your farm, fewer people, less smog and crime. Someone would actually have to find your house before they could rob it. And there is lots of good oklahoma clay for mishy to dig. And I really don't want to live in the city although Les and I were discussing just last night how tempting it is to just show up at Mishys door and say Hey were moving in wanna help unload the kiln. It is definitely an option we have been considering especially if things go south for April and her boy. May send April there first just to get her out of Texas and away from him and then follow. Eventually however I will end up back in Oklahoma out of all the places I have ever lived it is my favorite.

We have been talking about moving to Northern California since with our job the company pays the housing costs and I don't have to worry and Napa Valley area is pretty all year long. April looked up the college in Sacramento and had them send her info. Boy got upset saying we would never move it was just talk. He hasn't listened very well in the past year if he thinks that. We have been known to move before with no money, no job and no real prospects, Can you say Oklahoma and Texas. Then he revised his thinking whining that if we move to CA we would just move again in three years and didn't April think it would be better for Emily if they just stayed in one place. April laughed and laughed - We think he is afraid of change but then the only other place he has every lived was Elko Nevada and that was only for 6 months. Why anybody would go to Elko is beyond me.

I find websites by reading other peoples blogs and some days it takes a lot of blogs to find anything worth reading. My biggest complaint is all the stupid as pop ups people put on them. I refuse to link to anything with pop ups they are just tooooo fucking annoying.

sweet Dreams all must sleep sometime

Does anyone hear an echo in hear?

Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have had the 4 glasses of wine BEFORE I blogged?????
(Stop laughing Brandy! Damn you...stop laughing!!!!)

Does anyone know if there was a full moon last night?? Worked at the bar (as I do every Tuesday) and I swear there were more drunks than I've ever seen in one room. (Not to mention I think I saw a werewolf or two.) Was there extra late (we wouldn't want to deprive the drunks of "one more beer") and Carol set a new bar record for tacos cooked (Tuesday night is 50 cent taco night at her bar) at 251 from 4-9p.m. (At least the werewolfs were hungry for tacos and not human meat - although there were a couple of drunks who were, but we won't go there.)
Spent today unloading and spreading river rock in what has now become my new "rock garden" (have decided weeding all summer is the shits and not real easy with the arthritic hands anymore) and this brings the sum total of rock I've unloaded and spread to 1500 pounds in the last month. I've decided that's enough, even if it isn't. Also unloaded and placed a cool old antique cast iron wood stove I found discarded in the trees at the back of the property behind my sister's bar last night. (Can anyone say "hernia"?) Looks good but will be even better if I ever get around to planting flower in and on it. (I'm the Queen of Unfinished Projects.)
If it's any consolation, Brandy, I spend part of every day picking up trash, limbs, bark, and cow patties out of the front yard. Not as exotic as used cue-tips, but interesting in their own way. Don't know why Darrel's dog feels the need to scavage and then drop it all in the front yard, but it seems to be a habit I can't break him of. I'm not complaining though, because at least he goes out to one of the pastures to crap and after Digger (I felt lucky if he made it out the door the last year) that's a relief. Darrel's "herd" is now up to 3 one-year-old calves and one Momma cow and her baby. They are cute, but I feel no need to have them and their "droppings" just give Keegan (the dog) one more thing to drag into the yard. Mind you now, he doesn't chew any of this stuff - just brings it to the yard and drops it. And even after 4 year here and hauling truck loads of trash away that the previous owner left everywhere, he still manages to unearth disgusting treasures.
Mishy, I think our philosophies about men and relationships are pretty much the same thing, in different words. Shit that meshes - assholes in ways you can live with. Same difference. I am so thrilled for you about all your exciting plans and absolutely green with envy. Did Brandy mention that it's a package deal? If she comes to cook, I'll come to clean. Don't cook, but I'm a compulsive cleaner. (Not that most days you would know that by looking at my house.) Am also a grade-A organizer (of other people's shit, not my own). Also, hubby has a karaoke machine and about 100 cdgs I got him for his birthday a couple of years ago and I will bring them with me. (That's called a "bribe".)
B - will get on this week and get something for Apie's shower from Sears - do you want me to get a gift and have it sent to your house and just do the gift certifcate thing so she can get something she needs and may not get at the shower? (God, I love internet shopping!!!)
Brandy and Mishy obviously have too much time on their hands, as how do you ever find all these sites? Of course, as I said before, I can't stand being at the computer, so that may be why I never have anything to contribute.
Going to pick up the 7 year old tomorrow and bring him home with me for the night. We are dong the Easter egg coloring thing together before I take him home Friday. (See, Brandy - it never ends - you get to do this crap for the rest of your life.) But, he wanted to come home with me last weekend and Darrel and I both had to work Saturday, so I promised he could come this weekend. Besides, I don't think his mother really wanted to do the egg thing, as she has the 1 and the 2 year olds from hell to contend with, too. Then Friday night Darrel and I are meeting his boss and about 20 other "big wigs" for dinner. Thought about going in bib over-alls, work boots, and greased back hair, but I'm pretty sure I'd just get left at home.
Saturday I am going to a huge auction - yes, Brandy - an auction. I'm going to start doing some more eBay and dreading the thought of it. But, hey - have to pay this huge IRS bill somehow. All this is just to say I probably won't get time to ramble this weekend.
Loved the kitten story, but I'm a sucker for cats and most other animals. Two of our three barn cats have disappeared and I'm beginning to worry. But, they were here when we moved here 4 years ago and have disappeared before, so I'm hoping they will be back. My chickens and ducks are laying eggs like crazy and hiding them, so I guess they've decided it's the time of year to nest. (This sounds like a farm, I know, but I have 2 chickens and 2 ducks, so believe me it's just for fun!) However, we have no rooster and 2 female ducks, it wouldn't do the silly things any good to sit on their eggs forever, but they don't know that.
Only have 1/2 a glass of wine left, so am going to go enjoy it and get a good night's rest before putting on the "good Grandma" face for tomorrow.

Howling at the moon in . . .

, so that may be why I never find anything to contribute.
Am picking up the 7 year old tomorrow afternoon and bringing him home with me to spend the night. We are going to do the Easter egg coloring thing together Friday before I take him home. (No, Brandy - you never get out of it!!) Promised him last week when I was babysitting and he asked to come home with me I would get him this weekend, as Darrel and I both had to work last weekend. Besides, I don't think his mother really wanted to do the egg thing, which I can't blame her with the 1 and 2 year olds from hell to contend with, too. Then Friday night Darrel and I are meeting his boss and about 20 other "big wigs" for dinner. Thought about going in bib over-alls, work boots, and greased back hair, but I'm pretty sure I'd just get left at home.
Saturday I am going to a huge auction - yes, Brandy - an auction. I'm going to start doing some more eBay and dreading the thought of it. But, hey - have to pay this huge IRS bill somehow. All this is just to say I probably won't get time to ramble this weekend.

Does anyone know if there was a full moon last night?? Worked at the bar (as I do every Tuesday) and I swear there were more drunks than I've ever seen in one room. (Not to mention I think I saw a werewolf or two.) Was there extra late (we wouldn't want to deprive the drunks of "one more beer") and Carol set a new bar record for tacos cooked (Tuesday night is 50 cent taco night at her bar) at 251 from 4-9p.m. (At least the werewolfs were hungry for tacos and not human meat - although there were a couple of drunks who were, but we won't go there.)
Spent today unloading and spreading river rock in what has now become my new "rock garden" (have decided weeding all summer is the shits and not real easy with the arthritic hands anymore) and this brings the sum total of rock I've unloaded and spread to 1500 pounds in the last month. I've decided that's enough, even if it isn't. Also unloaded and placed a cool old antique cast iron wood stove I found discarded in the trees at the back of the property behind my sister's bar last night. (Can anyone say "hernia"?) Looks good but will be even better if I ever get around to planting flower in and on it. (I'm the Queen of Unfinished Projects.)
If it's any consolation, Brandy, I spend part of every day picking up trash, limbs, bark, and cow patties out of the front yard. Not as exotic as used cue-tips, but interesting in their own way. Don't know why Darrel's dog feels the need to scavage and then drop it all in the front yard, but it seems to be a habit I can't break him of. I'm not complaining though, because at least he goes out to one of the pastures to crap and after Digger (I felt lucky if he made it out the door the last year) that's a relief. Darrel's "herd" is now up to 3 one-year-old calves and one Momma cow and her baby. The are cute, but I feel no need to have them and their "droppings" just give Keegan (the dog) one more thing to drag into the yard. Mind you now, he doesn't chew any of this stuff - just brings it to the yard and drops it. And even after 4 year here and hauling truck loads of trash away that the previous owner left everywhere, he still manages to unearth disgusting treasures.
Mishy, I think our philosophies about men and relationships are pretty much the same thing, in different words. Shit that meshes - assholes in ways you can live with. Same difference. I am so thrilled for you about all your exciting plans and absolutely green with envy. Did Brandy mention that it's a package deal? If she comes to cook, I'll come to clean. Don't cook, but I'm a compulsive cleaner. (Not that most days you would know that by looking at my house.) Am also a grade-A organizer (of other people's shit, not my own). Also, hubby has a karaoke machine and about 100 cdgs I got him for his birthday a couple of years ago and I will bring them with me. (That's called a "bribe".)
B - will get on this week and get something for Apie's shower from Sears - do you want me to get a gift and have it sent to your house and just do the gift certifcate thing so she can get something she needs and may not get at the shower? (God, I love internet shopping!!!)
Brandy and Mishy obviously have too much time on their hands, as how do you ever find all these sites? Of course, as I said before, I can't stand being at the computer, so that may be why I never have anything to contribute.
Going to pick up the 7 year old tomorrow and bring him home with me for the night. We are dong the Easter egg coloring thing together before I take him home Friday. (See, Brandy - it never ends - you get to do this crap for the rest of your life.) But, he wanted to come home with me last weekend and Darrel and I both had to work Saturday, so I promised he could come this weekend. Besides, I don't think his mother really wanted to do the egg thing, as she has the 1 and the 2 year olds from hell to contend with, too.

Xiaoping's studio site, with amazing figurative sculpture and Yixing teapots

welcome to Xiaoping Studio

No need to d/l the characters (cancel) and you can click on the "English" version on the front page

Yes, I figured out the Blog this, FINALLY, with more help from Ms B. and I am reasonably sure I can afford for you to come be my cook right now..... but...since that isn't going to happen anytime soon, I will settle for a small pocket of sanity here on the blog. Watch for lots of cool new artsy sites soon, I'll get Xiaoping's on here, but his personal site loads slowly cause he has lots of cool bells and whistles on it.

Went to karaoke again last night, sang Fly by the Dixie Chicks and Somebody to Love by Jefferson Airplane. Always fun, but a friend bought me one too many (good) shots of tequila and I was a tad wasted...and have a minor hangover.

Stressing on money here...got APS shutoff notice...scrambling to get that together and decided to opt to borrow money for the China trip from a recent offer...from a friend. He won't charge me interest and can wait for payback for awhile. I hate doing it...but shit, I can't miss China! And, maybe I can even pay him back before I go in June...if the studio cash flows like I think it will.

BLOGGER - Knowledge Base - What is BlogThis! ?

BLOGGER - Knowledge Base - What is BlogThis! ?

I have survived the first of the month yet again

Donas right, I am about ready to faint, all of you have been so good lately. And I of course have been bad, haven't even managed to finish my rant but I am not in the mood today so I guess it will have to wait. Haven't been here lately because at the 1st of every month all of my payments for storage units come due and I do nothing but take others peoples money and charge them late fees and lock their doors , suspend their codes and get whined at when they tell me I didn't tell them the payment was due the first. This could be possible I suppose if I didn't have to read the entire lease to each and every one of them complete with circles and checkmarks on the appropriate documents that go home with them to remind them. Then we spend 4-6th unlocking their doors and unsuspending them so they can play with their stuff again. I don't really mind that their late, I am probably the softest hearted collection agent in the world, but luckily for the company I don't make the rules so I just blame it on my boss and take their money. Have started a new email reminder list in hopes that maybe more of them will remember on time and I won't have to do so much locking and unlocking not to mention the late letters which go out the 10th. Haven't actually received permission to do this yet but I figure it costs the company nothing but my time which they are already paying for and I finally figured out out to hide the recipient addresses so there are no privacy issues involved. I figure the email will be short and sweet. Hi how are ya doing and remember your rent is due the 1st. Hope it works.
( And you all thought your life was boring.)
All in all I like the job but to do it right takes more hours than what they pay for, I don't really care about that though because I would rather do it right and get excellent references if I decide to go somewhere else. Always have had this thing for good reference letters. BTW, I never got one from you Shirley. But I got to keep your brother so I suppose I would call it even. Besides there are not that many people who will pay me to work out of my house and while the first week is really hectic the rest of the month is pretty mellow. I want to win the Caller times best of award for mini storage so Melisa and Lydia I expect you to fill out lots of forms and mail them in for me this year.:o)
The idiot of the month awards at my humble storage unit goes to two people this month and neither are my customers. One accidently locked his cat in his storage for 5 days. Cat survived, but really. The other who get the asshole award was this idiot driving down McArdle while I was picking trash off the street. Corpus Christi could be a lot nicer place to live if the drunks would stay home and drink and if the people did not think that any local street or sidewalk was their own personal trash can. Anyways I am walking down the sidewalk picking up the days supply of beer bottles and whataburger crap when this guy driving by honks his horn and throws a hamburger wrapper out the window at me. Les says I should have thrown a rock back and others have suggested maybe using a gun but I was so stunned I just stared and then picked up his trash. Trash has become a big part of my life and I am now paying back the Karma for every cigarette butt I have ever dropped on the ground anywhere in my life. I never noticed parking lots before I got this job now I have just happy that mine is cleaner than just about anybody elses in town. You notice things more when you are forced to clean them up. I mean have you ever really looked at a Wal Mart parking lot. Not a pretty sight but it does seem to prove that most people, here at least are pigs and have no respect for their surroundings.
Speaking of trash is there some new drug out there that uses cue tips becaue I find more used cue-tips lying around than I have ever used in my life, Can you say Oooh Gross.

Some blog notes: right after this post I am posting the link to blog this button again for Mishy (everyone needs one of these) I will try and get a permanent link up soon but it may be the 10th before I have time and then my mother is flying in on the 16th and Aprils Baby shower is the 18th, you are all invited. I have invitations made but have not yet mailed. Lydia this would be a good excuse to get out of the house and you can bring Rranger because we wouldn't want you to suffer from any of those annoying breast pump sex toy situations. Will not have margaritas but we will have punch and cake etc.... Please come I need reinforcements of people that I will actually know and so does April. Looking for a cheap present is easy because she really has nothing so even crib sheets and blankets are a good deal.

I still need short bios to post for Shirley and Melisa (unless you really don't want one) If you don't give me something to work with I will make them up. I know you both well enough to do this as I did for Mishy and Dona, so let me know if you want or don't and if you want to do it or you just want to see what I would write. > : >) Could be fun

I an incredibly happy that you are all participating, thanks for being my blog partners.
Love ya all and blog at ya later.

PS Now I am really jealous Mishy Belize and China, I am hope you become rich and famous and can afford for me to come live with and cook for you.

PPS: Melisa, Being a bitch was always one of your best points you just don't do it often enough, But Practice makes perfect and it is such a fun thing to practice.

Hello


Two unusual things in my life. First, yesterday afternoon on my way to class I got pulled over for speeding - going 60 in a 45. But lucky for me the guy was nice and only gave me a warning and let me go. Only second time i've ever been stopped, so it was a different spice in my day. Second, and more exciting, yesterday afternoon when I got home, I found a newborn kitten in the backyard. Newborn like i had to cut the cord myself. So i spent the night playing surrogate mother and getting up every 2-3 hours to feed it when it started crying. This morning, I discovered the mother had the rest of the litter in the garage (gaining entry via a drainage pipe hole in the back wall of the house.) So after some preliminary caution i stuck the
kitten in with the rest of them and good for us, the momma cat accepted. That's all for today.


Oh wait... throughout the day one-liners usually pop into my head that may or may not be related to my mood or my day. The following is one such thought...


phrase of the day: Sometimes being a bitch is one of my good points   : )

Raku Fish

Raku Fish...shows the process pretty well...cute production line...
Doing lots of raku here at 'the Dragon' these days...

B's Blog of the Day

Cartoon Archives - Slowpoke Needed a little humor this morning. Political cartoons on the liberal side but taking hits at everyone. not something you would see in most newspapers. Make sure you check out Drooly Julie's Radio Lustlab. Haven't had a chance to read them all yet but I will later. Off to torture my body

Send Mishy to China and Belize

I need my fund started! Brandy, I KNOW you know my paypal addy....

I want to go teach pottery in Belize next spring...need to raise funds...going to help the locals become more self sufficient..digging clay etc...... I was invited this last February but I turned it down, due to lack of ability to arrange things while going through the divorce SHIT....but by next spring...I am GOING!!!!

World Travelling Pottery Goddess Mishy

Hey, Welcome Melisa, and Shirley! And thank you....all of you...for this blog..I am really loving it...even though I've been quiet....

Karaoke....I went last Tuesday and got lots of attention and approval...I sang four times...and drank two beers (small ones) and 1.5 shots of tequila (no salt or lime).... it was WONDERFUL...I sang..Michelle Branch with Santana (GREAT song, The Game of Love)...and Alanis Morissette- You Learn...and Dixie Chicks- Some Days You Gotta Dance (yah, I am versatile)....and some duet with a friend, but I didn't know it! LOL Okay, maybe a little bit tipsy... but NOT out of control...

If you all on yahoo ever want to hear me sing...I can do the mic thing...and I love to show off :-D

As for the men thing...being assholes etc....My theory is, that we ALL have our *shit* and it's a matter of whether our shit meshes with our partner's shit.... sometimes the mesh just doesn't work... I know I am not the easiest person to live with, particularly if you value tidiness, organization, or focus.... BUT....I have my good qualities and many men seem to admire/appreciate/reward them.... at this time...... so, I'm feeling pretty good. Of course... none of these men LIVE with me....but...for now...that is okay. I have really not ever been ON MY OWN for more than my college years and 3 months in an apartment, while I was dating Gary.... this is a good time for me to get my shit together. And Dona... I always said this would be my *only* marriage.... I intend to stick to that.......but...I have hopes of finding MY SPECIAL ASSHOLE....with all of your sentimental blogging (you too Brandy and Lydia).... Love to all..... Mushy Mishy

Poor Lonely Me...

Well, I can't believe it. I'm actually blogging 2 days in a row. Brandy will faint. I have nothing of interest to note - I was just actually in the mood to chat with Brandy and she's ignoring my IM. She must be inundated with customers. (Or possibly has her nose in a book - imagine that!) While I didn't do it as intensely as Brandy, 4 years of doing eBay has gotten me to the point that I would rather poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick than sit in front of the computer. However, this a.m. I just feel like rambling. Since Brandy's unavailable to ramble at, I guess everyone reading this blog will just have to be bored by my drivel.
Just finished balancing the checkbook and paying bills (speaking of poking things in my eye - wouldn't that have been more fun??) and sending the first big payment off to the IRS. I find it difficult to believe Darrel made that much money last year and we still live like poor white hillbillies in an old house in the middle of nowhere that anyone in their right mind would have bulldozed to the ground instead of inhabiting.
Good to see a new blogger - fresh perspectives are always great. Besides, now I have someone new to live vicariously through.
Thanks for sharing the picture, Brandy! Joshie looks all grown up anymore and I guess I will have to stop referring to him as my Boy Toy. I'm still waiting for that picture of Arpil's belly!
Of course, I came back with tons of pictures of Cj and Kenzie, but while I make Brandy suffer through the annoying, "Aren't they cute?" ordeal, I won't put the rest of you through it. Swore I would never be "one of those" kinds of grandmothers, but I must admit I've fallen into the trap.
Well, I guess I've wasted enough time (yours and mine) so I will continue on with my ever-growing list of things to accomplish today.

B's Web Site of the Day

Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes Of All Time

hey yall

Upon seeing new bloggers, I was encouraged to write something myself. That, and when I saw brandy's note about some people being shy or lazy. I found myself wondering which category i fell into - perhaps both. Then we went through a bit of trouble because i was unable to get onto the blog - which discouraged me. and then i felt guilty because we fixed the problem, but i still didn't write. and then of course she had to go and write about where did all her bloggers go, which equals more guilt for me. but that's ok, cuz here i am : )

what can i say about me? i have no kids and i'm single, never been married. so i don't share that in common with you, but i do share the "all men are assholes" attitude. it's a conclusion i came to at a young age before i ever encountered like-minded individuals. now that i've read your blogs, it's good to know that that's the way it is - not that i was cursed with bad relationships. i do find it too bad that males mature at such a slow rate, if at all. hmmm.... what else... I suppose i can be described as quirky and kooky and i live in a world all my own.

well, whatever fuel i had to begin with, i've run out. so farewell.

Click on Bad Presidents -

Howard Stern You must have quicktime loaded to hear this on your computer. If you don't have quicktime it can be downloaded for free on the web. Worth listening. PS If you really like Geroge Bush you may not like this song but then you probably don't like Howard Stern Either. Not that I ever listen to the man myself. Mostly because I am still asleep when he is on the radio

I told Dona I ended that one about husbands way too negatively

I guess I should kept writing and finished it out. I do love my husband would have to to put up with him for 22 years, yes it will be officially 22 years on May 1st. But yes he still is an asshole. However, he is also the most honorable man I have ever met. One who would gladly stand in front of a bullet to save my life though the barbarian in him would more than likely kill who was ever shooting before it ever got that far. He does dishes, laundry, writes me love poems and for the most part doesn't tell me how to live my life. A nice story now that I have told the mean one is when we loved in Phoenix and were both working on Central. If I needed gas in my car I would call him before I left work and he would meet me there and follow me to the gas station. I would sit in my beautiful white limited edition Trans Am while he pulled up behind me on the motorcycle and got out and pumped my Gas so I didn't have to. Other redeeming qualities are that he always saves the last bite of Dessert or the best food for me. He is always there, probably because he doesn't have the money to escape:0) and the fact that he lives in so much pain and yet he still gets up every morning and does what he has to for us to flourish. I could never find another like him which is why I tell him I would never bother trying once he was gone. LIke Darrel and Dona we are complete and utter opposites in sooo many ways. WIll finish this in a bit have to go get ready for work

Josh and his Lady Love Going to Prom

Yes, Brandy...there really is a Dona

Okay, Brandy - put the whip away. I'm blogging!!! I'm blogging!! I really did blog the day after I got back from Texas, but it went into to cyber never-never land and I used this as an excuse to point my middle finger at the computer and not sit down to blog again.
To catch up - spent 8 days in San Antonio with daugher, son-in-law, and 2 grandkids. (Can't wait till those kids can come visit on their own and leave their parents behind!) The kids were a blast (and I have more Cj stories for book fodder, by the way) and their parents were a pain in the ass. How did I ever raise such a preppy, "perfect" mother?? She can't possibly be mine. Returned from TX with a respitory infection and was on antibiotics, steroids, etc. for a week. Felt like hatcheted shit (Darrel says this is much worse then hammered shit) for 2 weeks, but am over it finally. Unforunately, the exhaustion from the trip (ever try to sleep when a 3-1/2 year old is bouncing off the walls because Nana is sleeping in his room??) and the infection kicked my fibromyalgia and CFIDS into full throttle and I'm in the midst of a full blown "episode" and I've been dealing with all that goes along with that since my return. But, this too shall pass.
Have done lots of babysitting for Darrel's youngest daughter's 3 kids (1, 2 and 7 years old) since I got back, so I'm pretty much on kid burn out at the moment. (I've discovered the ONLY good thing about having 9 grandkids is people saying, "You don't look old enough." The rest of it sucks, unless they live far away where you can go visit and then escape.)
Of course, the worst part of my life since my return is that a week after I returned from Texas I had to put my best friend and companion of 15 years to sleep. Poor old Digger was finally in such bad shape that I knew I had to finally let him rest. I know in my heart it was the right thing for him, but it was definitely not what I wanted. I had that dog longer than I"ve ever kept a husband!!! (And I liked him a lot more than most of them, too.) It's been almost a month, but I still can't stand pulling into the driveway and knowing he won't be there to greet me.
Worked at sister's bar until closing last night, so I'm fairly non-human and very incoherent this a.m., so you all must pretend I'm not here while you are reading this. (Which, in every important sense of the word, I'm not.) Had many "stupid drunk Okie" moment at the bar last night, but the one I know Brandy will enjoy the most is the guy stumbling OUT of Carol's kitchen and when we asked him what the hell he was doing in there, he said, "Looking for the bathroom." Needless to say, we sent Carol's boyfriend, Dave in to check the sinks, fryolater, and any open pots and pans for foreign objects (liquid and/or solid) before we went back in there.
Brandy forgot the most important part of our conclusions about men. Yes, they are all assholes. However, the key to happiness is just finding one that's an asshole in a way you can live with. Let's face it - we can be assholes, too (ours, of course, is totally warranted and justifiable, though) so I guess if you can find someone who can live with your faults (believe it or not there are men out there who will love you FOR your faults, not in spite of them) and you can make it through most days without his faults making you want to kill him or yourself, you're better off than most.
Of course, as Brandy mentioned in my "bio" Darrel is my fourth husband. This either makes me the world's WORST person to get advice from, or an expert. But, to quote Lydia's daughter, "I have never loved anyone this way before." Yes, he can be a REAL asshole at times. But even then, I think of him as MY asshole. (Doesn't everyone need two assholes??) Anyway, I've done the independent, all on my own thing many times in my life and for the first time in my life, I can't remember life before this man and can't imagine life without him. We've been together 11 years and most days it seems like it's only been 11 days. It's gone WAY too fast and I found him WAY too late in life! (Not that I would have given him the time of day when I was younger - he's a nice guy and I never liked nice guys!)
I've come to believe the most important thing in a long term relationship is having the same goals. Wanting the same kind of life. Darrel and I are polar opposites in almost every way you can imagine. But, we both want the same things from life and want to live the same kind of life. (Our life would bore anyone else to tears, but it works for us.) And, of course, sometime in the future when I get on here and rant about how I'm going to kill the idiot you can all remind me of this sappy blog.
Okay, I've done my blogging for today. This week. This month. NO! NO! I promise to blog more faithfully. And I can't tell you how much I enjoy reading all the rest of the blogs. I'm living vicariously through Mishy right now, dreaming about a trip to China.

my dear sis....Brandy

I have learned more from reading your posting than I have known for years. Yes I totally agree about the men ...assholes thing but we even gave birth to a few of them. They no more understand us than we do them sometimes. Want to know what I have always enjoyed watching about your life......your sense of doing it your way whether anyone else agreed or not...that is what it is all about DO what is right from your viewpoint to hell with all the advice. I love & respect you for all the times we have shared. You are & will always be family to me. Love you. Shirl

:) Hola! :)

Brandy dear we scared everyone away with our incessant whining and man hating attitude. Do not be deceived I love all men those wretched stealers of my heart. Men.... Can't live with them. Can't kill them. Things are good today as they are most days. I told Kelly of my desire to write a book and to that my prince said,"start with something practical like a how to shop in South Texas book". Got to love that man, and I do. After reading your advice blog I no longer have any desire to slap Kelly. I now want to slap Les. Thanks peanut. I have an easy life for the most part and must focus on the abundant positive aspects. God is so good to me and I am a spoiled ungrateful child. What I want to be when I grow up is pretty much still up in the air. It's mommy for the moment and anything else that makes sense. Loan Officer makes sense. Seeing as I've had no offers to pay me to get a tan, and read books. I love reading everyone else's blog because it makes me feel so human. So please keep spilling all your words, and adventures but more details please. Mishy, what songs did you Karaoke, and were you sober at the time. My big Saturday night adventure is to go out with only two kids, the Ranger man 4+months and the Lindy girl worlds tallest seven year old. We are going out to the bookstore and then to buy her some clothes. The clothes are a reward for giving a lot of things that she liked and still used to a friend that needed them. This is a girl after my own heart. I found some of her writing and as any nosy mother would I read it. The first line read as the following.

I have never loved any one this way before.

I was floored, not because I couldn't believe what I was reading but because she expressed herself so well. We talked about her note later and I asked if she loved this boy because he was kind and generous to others. To that Lindy replied, "No Mom I just like the way he looks".

Where oh where did my Bloggers go

Oh Where oH where can they be

Sugar Gliders and Cars

Car is still in the shop this will be its 5th day. Part of the reason we bought this truck was because they were supposed to be so easy to work on unfortunately it is not just Les that can't fix it. My Mechanic has had it for 4 days now and he can't figure out whats wrong either. Typical luck for me. Running fine one day and then poof dead and no one knows why. For everyday it is in the shop I see the money ticker going around kind of like the deficit watch luckily it shouldn't be that much.

Bought my babies (Sugar Gliders) new toys and treats. Finally broke down and bought them some meal worms and crickets (can you say Yuck) Ruby and Riley think Meal Worms are Da Bomb and they will jump from across the room to get one. Also bought them a new toy called the wheel of terror . They don't seem to be too terror stricken yet and I haven't really seen them play with it mostly because they are up all night while I sleep and If I get up to pee and go check on them they jump to the cage door wanting to come out and play instead of just playing so I can watch. I try to sneak around but they have much better night vision than me. Also bought them yogurt drops woke them up yesterday afternoon to try some of their goodies. Tried to give them each a yogurt drop Ruby let the first one slide by into her pouch but Riley caught his and started munching then Ruby who is much bigger stuck her mouth in his and bit the drop in half and took what she wanted. After they ate both they spent a long time licking eachothers mouth, hand etc. Making sure they had gotten every last drop. So I am thinking they probably like them.

Must go exercise now and then go to work. 1st of the month is always hell as all of our payments are due on the first which means some 300 people walk through the door. But it does make the rest of the month mellower. Bosses sent us chocolate and a beautiful Easter lily. Would have rather had cash but the Lily is Beautiful and I need more plants, plus it smells great. The chocolate is evil because I am still dieting but my daughter seems to like it. At 8 months preggers she figures she is fat anyway.

B's Blog of the Day

the Scandalous Diary of a Vegas Playgirl
Ah the young happy unmarried life I never had and can only read about in books and blogs

Husbands and Men in General

Boy Lydia, you ask for advice on the hard things. Kids are easy, Husbands are a horse of an entirely different color. After much discussion, crying and general bullshit about men. Dona and I came up with the only thing that truly covers all bases.

All Men are Assholes, Usually with the emotional maturity of the average 4 year old. Now Dona and I both love our husbands dearly and agree that as far as assholes go they are some of the best in the bunch but it doesn't change the fact that they are still assholes. Following this observation is of course that all men are pigs but that is an entirely different rant.

I give you an A for standing up to Kelly and telling him exactly what you thought of this job. Not something I was capable of doing until after 17 years of Marriage when I was so tired and pissed that I cried and ripped Les to shreds for two years hoping he would go away and take the kids with him. As you can tell he must really love me or he is really lazy because I was a mean evil bitch who said all sorts of mean nasty things designed to piss him off. Unless you truly want to end up hating Kelly you should keep this up because storing this stuff inside for the sake of peace eventually turns you into a raging volcano that burns everything in its path.

As I have said before you and Michelle are very much alike but there is one extreme difference. Mishy determined at a much earlier age what she wanted to be when she grew up. She was my hero during those early years, of course her husband Gary was my hero too for a while then he turned into just another asshole like all the rest. Mishy to me had the best of all worlds. She got to stay at home and work in the clay. cooked what she wanted, never had dinner on the table, at least nothing gary would eat and lived her own separate life from gary. I thought this was so cool. And Gary at the time let her which was something I could just not imagine in my marriage. Of course looking at it 20 years later I see that for the most part they lived their own lives and truly shared only the kids. Now that they are getting a divorce I suppose they are doing the same thing. So I guess this is not entirely the way to go either. My favorite stories from Mishys life that illustrate this.
Once they were arguing and this way back probably 15 years ago, anyway they were outside yelling at eachother so as not to expose the children. Gary was whining about the house not being clean Etc. Michelle at the top of her lungs told him this," You want your fucking house clean, hire a fucking maid" This made my heart soar and I can't truly remember a moment when I was prouder of a woman I knew. (Okay I was young and had bad examples growing up) To Gares credit he did hire the maid. However years later when Gare had his first stupid breakdown and turned into the real man he always was rather that the enlightened man he pretended to be he used the housework against her again. In one counseling session his complaint was that Michelle left ferret shit in HIS closet for 6 months without cleaning it up. Can we all say petty stupid man. Can you just imagine staring at something everyday in your closet going "see she didn't pick it up again."

As for me the best story I have is about our move to Corpus Christi. When I first had my mental collapse and wanted to move from where we were living at the time. Les picked Corpus, I knew this was not the place for us and I wanted to move to Florida. Not that my wants were truly ever taken into consideration. Anyway this brought on a new and rather intense crying jag in which for two weeks I would not tell him what was bothering me. Finally I broke down and he broke down and I told him I didn't ever want to move to Texas and I never wanted to live in another city. (Crying jag started when he moved me from my farm to town) He promised me with tears in his eyes and hugging me that we would never move to the city again and we would never move to Texas.

Imagine my surprise when a year later he announced one morning to me that he and April had decided we were moving to Corpus. By this time I was almost over the 2 year crying jag but was still pissy and hateful and I told him that I would move with him but I would not promise I would stay. Being Les, this pissed him off and we had a running argument that morning on our way to an auction an hour away about moving there. He went on and on about the jobs there and the housing and that he had done all the research and it was better than Florida and that unless I could prove otherwise I shouldn't argue it.

After the auction we went home and I did the research and Florida was still better in almost every way. I pulled up the demographics and showed him this and his response was "if you don't have something nice to say keep your fucking mouth shut." Damn they hate being wrong, don't they. So I did exactly that and never said another word knowing that our marriage was indeed on the brink, I followed him to Corpus more because of the overwhelming urge to be able to say I told you so than out of any love for him. And of course I was right. Housing costs were high, jobs were non existent and don't pay shit, even including the rent on the house I am living in now I am still making less per hour than I have made since I was 19 years old. Since the economy is so bad here we ended up in bankruptcy 40,000 in debt to credit cards just trying to survive. And I ended up working outside the house and doing ebay which as those who do ebay know is effectively working two jobs. He got to continue staying home and I got to do the bullshit. This did not make me a happy camper as I was having much more fun in Kansas just doing eBay and working at home on my own schedule and not being soley responsible for keeping food on the table and the bills paid. At one point I hatched a plan to drive to the beach leave the car and the clothes I was wearing on the beach and disappear. (taking other clothes with me of course, Figured Dona would drive down and pick me up and I could just disappear.)

When I told him about this and about his breaking his promise in another burst of tears and meanness, his response was why didn't you say something to which I reminded him of his "if you don't have something nice to say keep your fucking mouth shut". IN the last few years here he has improved and I care less about everything than I used to. I love him and my children but the reality is I am just biding my time. Unless he is willing to quit smoking chances are good he will die before me and eventually I will be able to live my own life without a mans influence, a prospect I am looking forward too. I don't envy Michelle her exact situation but I do envy her her freedom.

Well that's it from the peanut gallery or at least this peanut, don't know if any of this is helpful or enlightening, most of it just is.

B's Blog of the day

Beef on Weck Blog: a Buffalo & WNY Delicacy
Mother of a 2 yr Old and 4 yr Old - Funny Stuff