Sticks and Stones, and No Money For A Taco

I went to my Urology appointment on Friday and got what I thought was the worst news ever. Apparently I still have some stone fragments less than 2mm in some medical word I can't pronounce place that will never come out no matter how many more times they shock me. I thought that removed the possibility that I could donate. I took it pretty hard. My eyes teared up and I could barely speak. I was so upset, and I could tell that Dr. T was really feeling for me. He said that I did all that I could and that I was a good kid. I then told him that I was upset because there wasn't anyone else to help her. Dr. T even offered to write a letter stating that he thought it was perfectly safe for me to donate either one of my kidneys. I thanked him but that did little to lift my spirits. I went to the transplant clinic next (it's in the same building) to get Oscars number. I called him from there and left some whiny ass messages for him. I then got in my van and called my husband Kelly and cryed, and I'll tell you what this man is incredible. He said that we could probably find someone to do the surgery if we looked hard enough, and that God can make anything happen. I had previously read on the internet that there are some places that are doing transplants with stones. That helped a little. I then glanced over at my passengers seat where I had layed my wallet. I did not see i t there so I pulled over at a convenience store to look for it. While I was looking for it what appeared to me to be a homeless couple walked up to me an dasked if I could give them money to buy a taco. I said, no sorry I don't have any money (which was the truth). Then the man said, "Damn you to hell!" This made me cry again because I was already upset that I couldn't help D and also had lost my wallet. The funny part about it was that even though my husband and other people lecture me for it I don't think that I have evr said no when someone has asked me for money for food and I kind of felt bad that about that to. I the went back to the the radiology office, Dr's office, transplant office, all the places I'd been looking for my wallet. Wasted an hour of my life on that. Then gave up went to back to van and drove home while imagining some gang member draining my bank account and charging big screen TV's on my credit cards. Wasn't paying that great of attention to the road and hit the breaks a little late at a red light, gave myself whiplash and saw my wallet fly out from underneath my seat. I swear I looked under there twice.
Oscar called me back later and said to fax the Dr's letter and the reports from the lithotripsies and X-rays to him. He said that he would show them to the surgeon. A glimmer of hope!!! So I left a message for Christie Dr. T's nurse to call me so I can ask her very nicely to make this happen. Now I'm waiting.

I'M ALIVE

I am ashamed of the fact that I have not kept up this blog properly, what can I say other than life has gotten in the way. Eventually I did hear back from Oscar, not the news I wanted but not totally bleak. After going to San Antonio to be poked and prodded, a CT scan revealed that I had a kidney stone. He assured me t hat this did not exclude me as a donor and recommended that I come back to be re-evaluated after I had the stone removed (lithotripsy is the reccomendation. More on that later. So two lithotripsies later here I am. My second one was 6 weeks ago, I should have been back to get the all clear from the Urologist already but my life has been CRAZY. I have had a foster daughter for t he last three months and she has very high needs and I've put everything else on the back burner. Which is sad because I am putting D's life on hold to. I know that she will understand this as she is a beautiful human being but I still feel guilty about it. I have just found out that the little girl will be going to some relatives soon so I am making my appointment today. The best news I could get would be no more stone. Then I can go back to San Antonio and get a surgery date scheduled (hopefully).

Lithotripsy I

Done under local anesthetic, terribly painful and ineffective. Comparable to being tazed in the back. Not that I have ever been tazed in the back but I imagine that this is what it would feel like. I was very sore afterwards and it was really a few days before I was feeling like myself again.

Lithotripsy II

Done under general anesthetic, highly effective (I hope- We shall see) Painless! No side effects or soreness whatsoever. I highly recommend that if you are given the choice you choose the latter.

Stay tuned for funny stuff and my PPO sucks in the next blog. Coming soon....

A Perfect Match

Oscar called to tell me that all of the labwork came back within normal limits. Awesome, just awesome! A six antigen match, now that is the handiwork of God. I need to look up the odds on that one. I feel incredibly blessed.

Recycled Juice

DO NOT DRINK THIS JUICE!

This is not OJ and psychic visions

I had a vision of Dara walking her dog, she looked great. Her face was full of color and her hair was darker. She was smiling and she looked so healthy and happy. It was a nice vision, it made me feel good. I picked up a couple of urine collection bottles. They were orange, and lil Kel asked if they were for orange juice. They do sort of look like they would contain OJ. I said, no and laughed. I told Kel what they were for and he found it quite interesting. I have been reading alot about organ donation, transplants, and living donors lately. I did not realize that 17 people die everyday waiting for a transplant. While I don't believe in the selling of tissues and organs, I really disagree with how UNOS regulates living donors. Please feel free to correct me if I am wrong but it is my understanding that if you meet someone over the internett than you cannot donate a kidney to them. This seems kind of lame to me. I think that if anything these types of donations would take names of of waiting lists and less people would die waiting for a cadavar organ. Organs from living donors are better right. You can get a closer match, they last longer, less chance of the recipients body rejecting it. I think that if it were not for the power going out at Dara's house, which is our house. The one she rents from us. I might never even have known how ill she was. That is when I first found out that she was on dialasys, but if not for this incident I may never have known. They are good tenants, they pay there rent on time. Some of the tenants that I have had I only see when I show them the house and when they sign the lease. Why can't you advertise your plight. Why can't you reach out t o fellow human beings and say, please help me. This is who I am and I need help. If there are no close relatives to donate to you and no friends offer are you just suppose to wait and hope for someone to die to help you. The only things that I volunteer to do at church are those tasks which I enjoy, therefore they really are not tasks, but if I am asked to do something I usually say yes and always end up finding joy or learning something from the experience. Dara did not have to ask, and I know she would never have but people should be allowed to. People will do amazing things if they are asked. While we are middle class family with children, I am in the wonderful position of not having to earn an income that we depend on. So I can very easily afford any time lost at work. I can recruit household help. I can even afford to pay someone if we have to but I would prefer not to. I will ask my mother to come and stay with me, I will ask my church members as well. So really this is not as much of a sacrifice for me as it would be for some. Mostly it will be my families sacrifice as they will Mommy will not be 100% for a bit.

Conversation with Dara

Dara called me to get permission to remove a dead tree in the front yard and I know I probably should not have but I told her the awesome news and she was so happy that she cried. She was so grateful and I don't know why but I did not expect that reaction. I guess because everything is not for sure yet, it was just the offer that she was elated about. She told me that she was really in shock when I initially made the offer. She said that just the possibility gives her hope. Her husband Bill was just about to leave for work and she couldn't wait to tell him. Please, please, please Lord make this your will. In my mind I am picturing Dara happy and healthier. I looked at my schedule and I can start the 24 hour test and do the glucose thing, Wednesday and Thursday then it is more waiting. Dara will be waiting along with me. Waiting with hope. I'm calling Oscar tomorrow to set up the labs.

Oscar called and......

Apparently my alien anatomy is of no consequence! Yippee skippy yeah! I'm doing the happy dance. Which fortunately is in private so no living being actually has to witness my dancing. I'm worse than Elaine on Seinfeld. Only I know I'm bad and I still dance when I feel like it. I just don't find myself in the dancing mood very often. So next week, I need to have a few more tests done. Since my Dad is diabetic they want to rule out that possibility. Then there will be the waiting again and then if all goes well a trip to San Antonio for even more tests. I'm glad that Oscar called, apparently he was out of the clinic and that is why it took so long for him to get back to me. I was beginning to think that my psychic abilities were losing there effectiveness. Then after I called I started thinking rationally, it was probably that the tin from the garbage pail that he lives in was thwarting my attempts to communicate with him. I have a theory about that grumpy green guy. I think he needs to move. I mean he would probably be a whole lot happier if he didn't live in a garbage pail. Speaking of which I'm feeling kinda grumpy myself, I think I need to clean my house. I did call little Debbie, but just got her voicemail. She could have been out committing evil acts or creating baked goods.

That's it Oscar. I'm calling Little Debbie.

WARNING DIABETICS THIS GIRL IS THE DEVIL

While I realize it has only been a few work days-Thursday,Friday,Monday. Since I sent Oscar my CT Scan report but I really just wanted to put a picture of Little Debbie on the blog. I was initially given Oscar N's name and number along with Debbie K's. I was told I could call either. So that's it Oscar if you take too long, I'm calling Little Debbie. She sounded little on her voicemail, but I didn't leave a message. She could have been one of those great big people with a tiny voice. I've been told that I sound like a Jewish woman from New York over the phone, and I am neither Jewish or from New York. I am at times a fast talker.