As a child, a mother and now a grandmother, I know how important all those lessons in life really are.

The Poem below reminds me of the reality of day to day parent and childhood, rather than the sloppy sticky sweet stuff most people try and peddle these day. It was emailed to me by my daughter years ago.

What My Mother Taught Me

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished
cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION -
"You better pray that will come out
of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL -
"If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC -
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT -
"Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY -
"Keep laughing and I'll *give* you
something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you
*look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA -
"You'll sit there until all that
spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER -
"It looks as if a tornado swept
through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS -
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you;
would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY -
"If I've told you once, I've told
you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -
"I brought you into this world,
andI can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY -
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"